To me, love is not just a fuzzy warm feeling for someone or desire. Those things are part of love, feelings that love can produce. But those feelings can be produced without love involved. Feelings are fleeting and change a lot like the weather in Texas. Love is a way of being toward someone. It is action and attitude. It is a decision. It is a commitment.
I have a long way to go, to learn to love perfectly. I don't believe any of us truly can. But here is what it would look like all the time if we could:
When do you feel most loved? How do you like to express love? Have you ever truly loved or been loved?
Barbara
After 10 years of marriage, the love in my life is still going strong! Not always plain sailing, of course. I wouldn't say it's always about grand gestures - it's about acting kindly every day and sometimes just sitting in silence but being perfectly comfortable in each other's company. Nice post.
ReplyDeleteLove is such a complex topic which so many degrees and variations in the way that it is felt and expressed. I feel confident that my parents always loved me and I loved them. I loved all of my wives while I was married to them and especially my current wife. When I think of my exes I now see it as I love them for who they were and the times we had together, but I don't necessarily love what happened later and don't feel the same love for either of them now that I used to feel. But I do love all of my children--even when they upset me or do things that I wish they wouldn't. Gosh, and my grandchildren? Love them all!
ReplyDeleteArlee Bird
Tossing It Out
True Barbara.
ReplyDeleteWe all have a long way to go.
We need to love ourselves first & take care of loved ones. It varies from person to person.
I am just blown way by your simple explanation that love is an attitude towards someone. That is so bang on and I never thought of it that ways. It's without judgement n expectation.
ReplyDeleteLeather that weathers in Pushkar
Love is often described as an emotion, but I think true love is an action verb; where you live out commitment to someone or cause whatever in how you treat them, etc.
ReplyDeleteI read that quote at my parents 35th wedding anniversary. It fit them so well. I am fortunate that I found that kind of love with my husband. Great post Barbara!
ReplyDeleteJanet
L is for Loverboy
So true that feelings are fleeting. And sometimes what we believe is a loving commitment is actually an unhealthy desire to control someone else (for example, someone with Borderline Personality Disorder). St Paul's description of love in I Cor. 13 are a powerful articulation of what real love is, and why it's such a powerful force for good.
ReplyDeletehttp://laurelgarver.blogspot.com/2017/04/l-love.html
It's so true that we cannot love perfectly on our own, but with the help of the Holy Spirit within us we can love others as God loves us. What an incredible gift!
ReplyDelete"Love is a decision" is one of the lines we used frequently in marriage preparation. The longer I'm married, the more that I find it is true. ;-)
ReplyDeleteI love the image (and the words in it) that you chose for this post. Obviously, we (as people) are still trying to figure out exactly what love is. There are countless poems about it, and they each define it differently.
ReplyDelete@mirymom1 from
Balancing Act
I truly believe I have my soul mate. I went through a lot to get here though. 34 years here.
ReplyDeletehttp://enchantedfantasies.blogspot.com/
After being married for a quarter of a century, I've learned that love is more than a feeling. It's much more about being willing to give to make the other person the best version of himself. When we are both doing that, it's a beautiful thing. Not that we always do it well! ha!
ReplyDeleteI've always loved that Bible verse. As for love - it's little gestures from my husband and the gestures I do back for him. With my kids, it's hugs and kisses and lots of "I love yous" because they are still little. With my youngest it is her staying up late if I'm working late so she can see me and snuggle a bit. I love those moments with her. - Louise
ReplyDeleteNo. The answer to your last question for me is no.
ReplyDeleteHere's to the day that you do, that you are!
DeleteBefore I met Papa Bear I no longer believed in love, after being in three abusive marriages. After I married him I expected everyday that things would suddenly take a change for the worse. But they didn't. He told me that real love grows a little more with each passing day and year, he was right about that too, we've been married 8-1/2 years now, and he is the love of my life, my knight in shining armor, one of God's very best. Love is all of those things stated in the Bible verse you posted above. Love is the way we see someone with our hearts instead of our eyes.
ReplyDeleteThis is such a beautiful tribute to the love you share with Papa Bear, Josie, just beautiful.
DeleteLove is complicated.
ReplyDeleteI like how you describe it as action and attitude, as well as a decision.
I believe you have to love yourself before you can really love another.
ReplyDeleteCheryl
Plucking Of My Heartstrings
You just have to hold on to life, love and you'll be loved back.
ReplyDeleteI've always loved the admonishment from Rumi: " “Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it.”
ReplyDeleteI have loved and have been loved. I know my grandparents and my daddy loved me. David says that he loves me and sometimes I feel like he does. Because of hurts we've done to each other, it is hard to fully feel it anymore.
ReplyDeleteI'm trying to understand the whole idea of "love is a choice" versus "love is a feeling". I don't know how one chooses something that isn't there. I guess I can't get past it being a feeling. I wish I could grasp the choice idea, though, because I really need to do that right now with a family member. We're butting heads and there isn't too much love being felt in either direction on this one.
Have a blessed and happy Easter weekend!
Visiting from A to Z. I have been fortunate enough to have been loved by my parents, my husband (married 43 years this year) and my son. My brother in law, who is autistic, does not express love in the same way that those not on the spectrum might. But he does love his mother and his mother loves him - very much.
ReplyDeleteIt's really hard to express what love is. I like to think it is home.
ReplyDelete@JazzFeathers
The Old Shelter - 1940s Film Noir
Love is a verb, a choice, an act of will. I think, too often, people assume that love is what is done for them, and don't realize that love is really how you put others first. :)
ReplyDeleteLove is complex. To feel and to express. Everyone expresses love differently - we have to learn the language of the other person first. Too often we look for the person to mirror our own language/ways of expression/expectations, and don't realise they are expressing the same feeling in a different way.
ReplyDeleteA very thought provoking post, enjoyed the insights.
Nilanjana.
Madly-in-Verse
That love that never fails - the real deal!
ReplyDeleteHello Barbara.
ReplyDeleteCongratulations on completing this year's A-Z Challenge!
God is the epitome of love, it's everything He stands for. (1 John 4:8) He endowed us all with this wonderful quality and many others when He created us in his image. (Genesis 1:26, 27) God's love for us is beautifully expressed when we reflect on the fact that He sent His best Son, Jesus to earth to suffer and die for us in order to give us a future and a hope. (John 3:16) We love because God loved us first. (1 John 4:9, 10)
Thanks for popping over to my blog.
EPGoddess