Wednesday, January 16, 2013

Murder by Hairbrush

Article from the Caneyhead Gazette

A local man, age 50, was found dead in his bedroom Wednesday AM.  No sign of forced entry.  No signs of foul play.  The investigators did find an unusual fluffy puff of strands of chestnut hair laying on the adjoining bathroom's counter, next to the sink.  Upon further investigation, they also found a couple of tightly wound up small balls of chestnut hair in the bathroom garbage can.

Police interviewed the other two residents of the home.  The thirteen year old daughter, clearly a strawberry blonde, stated that the only thing unusual she had seen or heard occurred about 10:20 pm on Tuesday night.  She was in the bedroom to kiss her father good night, when she heard a woman's voice, that sounded like her mother, exclaim from the bathroom, "It belongs in the garbage can!!!!!!!!!"  When questioned, the widow said she remembered nothing out of the ordinary.

Upon further investigation, police found a Garnier Nutrisse 53 Chestnut hair dye box in the bathroom closet.  They subpoenaed a strand of hair from the widow, to run a match upon the hair found in the bathroom.  The test was conclusive that the hair on the counter belonged to the widow.  When confronted with this evidence, the widow broke down and confessed to ramming the @#$% hairbrush down her husbands throat.

When questioned about the motive, she said that being a 52 year old, post menopausal woman combined with certain medications she took, resulted in a sad amount of hair loss.  That her husband would complain if she didn't remove the hair from the brush after each brushing she did.  That she tried to be very vigilant to do this and pointed to the rolled up balls of hair the detectives had found in the bathroom garbage as evidence that she had been.  But, she went on to state, last night when she went into the bathroom to get ready for bed she had found the fluffy puff laying on the counter by the bathroom sink.  Her mind raced backward and she realized that in the morning rush that morning she had forgotten to clean her strands from the brush. Inside her anger boiled when she realized the only reason for him to have removed the hair and then left it on the counter instead of putting it in the trash was to get her goat.  An unkind way to remind her of her forgetfulness.  And this wasn't the first time he had done it, either.  This was what drove her to commit murder by hairbrush. 

No charges have been filed, as the female DA considered the situation as justifiable homicide.

Postscript:  Pete is still very much alive.  The above article is a work of fiction, loosely based in fact. 

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