As I wonder around J-land and meet folks from all around the world it is apparent that we just live a little differently than the rest of ya'll. When I go to work in Beaumont, TX...it is apparent that even all fellow Texans don't do things like we do at home. Why even in town (10 miles south of us) they don't do everything like we do here in our little community of Caneyhead. It makes for some hilarious conversations.
In the interest of understanding, I have compiled an original list of things that we ourselves have done or regularly do in our life here in Caneyhead. Enjoy. Hopefully chuckle. And see if you could live in Caneyhead.
If you go barefoot more than with shoes on...
you could live in Caneyhead.
If you have ever shot an armadillo with a 12 gauge by dawn's early light in a silk tap pant set....
you could live in Caneyhead.
If you generally purchase used vehicles in twos, one to drive and one for parts...
you could live in Caneyhead.
If your weekly feed bill equals or exceeds your weekly grocery bill...
you could live in Caneyhead.If a loose hog has ever been the reason you were late for work...
you could live in Caneyhead.
If you own more off road vehicles than on road vehicles...
you could live in Caneyhead.
If eating healthy means switching to 2% milk from whole milk and frying only one dish per meal in canola oil instead of hog lard...
you could live in Caneyhead.
If you say you need a pie crust 
and you still get out shortening and flour...
and you still get out shortening and flour... you could live in Caneyhead.
If you can't get from your house to the highway without picking up mud or dust on your truck...
you could live in Caneyhead.
If you have a $2,000 stereo system in your $1,500 truck...
you could live in Caneyhead.
If you can't figure out how to make the walk/don't walk sign at the crosswalk change...
you could live in Caneyhead.
If your seven year old daughter has only recently ever eaten in a restaurant with menu's that are handed out by a waitress at the table...
you could live in Caneyhead.
If you save the plastic bags from Wally world and the grocery store to line your small trash cans with...
you could live in Caneyhead.
If the official school bus stop is actually a compressor station...
you could live in Caneyhead.
If you still identify callers by answering the phone instead of checking a caller I D display...
you could live in Caneyhead.
If camping still involves coal oil and firewood...
you could live in Caneyhead.
If, when you realized you had no hamburger buns,you put your bacon cheeseburgers on hot dog buns (baconcheesedog's)...
you could live in Caneyhead.
If you've ever been to a hog scrapin'...
you could live in Caneyhead.
If you let your neighbors know their music is too loud, too late by raining shot down on the tin roof of their party shed...
you could live in Caneyhead.
If three consecutive shots fired means "send help this way" to you...
you could live in Caneyhead.
If you kitchen sink has ever been on your back porch...
you could live in Caneyhead.
If you know how many square bales of hay fit in the trunk of an Oldsmobile...
you could live in Caneyhead.
If corn pickin', tator diggin' or cracklin' frying are family social events...
you could live in Caneyhead.
If you spend more money on deer season than all the other holidays combined...
you could live in Caneyhead.
If you have an 800+ lb hog named after your father...
you could live in Caneyhead.
Dang... I guess I live in Caneyhead!
ReplyDeleteYou bet I line my trash cans with small plastic bags from Wal*Mart. Whadda you think, I'm wasteful? Paula
ReplyDeleteAnd to think all this time I thought I'd lived in Hardscratch, KY-lol......
ReplyDeleteMichele
Glensfork4@aol.com
very sweet Barbara! I think it must be fun there!:):)
ReplyDeletehugs from natalie
ps beautiful graphics!love,natalie
Sounds like a good place to live to me. I am guilty of a few of those including scraping hogs and lining the bathroom trash cans with Walmart and grocery bags, LOL. I prefer using them as then you have the handles to carry them with. I enjoyed the chuckles. Have a good Sunday. Hugs, Helen
ReplyDeleteLOL.. I did love it! I needed a laugh anyway. I have one thing in common with you. I do line my trashcans with the plastic bags. smile and I think my favorite of them all was the one about buying 2 cars, one to get the parts for the other one. That was cute!
ReplyDeleteBe blessed.
vee
http://journals.aol.com/Godsfava8/DiaryofaSoldOutWoman
Since I'm orig from TX (having lived there most of my life) I FEEL this entry!!! LOL
ReplyDeleteHugs,
Sugar
LOLOL...well sounds like a great place to visit...but not sure I would wanna live there LOLOL....thanks for a great early Sunday morning laugh....hugs from KY....Ora
ReplyDeleteHey I believe we may be neighbors!!!!! lol
ReplyDeletelove ya,
carlene
Forget buying two new(er) vehicles- just keep every old one you've ever owned in your front yard!! Our loose hog (Gus the boar hog who thinks he's a dog) who is chased around by our boy!! Ever since I moved south- I discovered how yummy things taste when they're cooked in old bacon grease drippings!!!! Mother in law next door still makes the best pie crust! People write me messages in the dust on my car in winter!!! Not a big stereo system in the 500$ truck- but a heck ova CB!!!
ReplyDeleteWhat's caller ID?! Firewood of the lighter pine variety- you know, the stuff they make nitro glycerine from !! How about chilihotdogs on a hamburger bun? Cherry bombs to bug your neighbors (brother in law!) No back porch- just a washer in the pump house and a deep freeze on the FRONT porch!! 2 Bales , a 50 lb bag hog feed and 2 50 lb bags of three grain scratch and layin' mash fit in the back of a jeep! When can we come to visit!!! Are we related ?!?! Loved it Barb!!! Carolyn
Oh my gosh do we have things in common or what? I used to have my washer out by the electric pole in front of our mobile home, too funny. We've raised every kind of animal there was and loved them all. Had a bull named Ruffles that my husband could go out and sit on he was such a pet. I used to get up and slop the pigs and feed the cows and horses and chickens before I got the boys off to school. My husbands barn has poles here and there holding up the ceiling. Love this entry Barb. Thanks for your prayers. Have my appointment at Mayo Clinic in the morning.
ReplyDeleteMarlene-A Poet's Point Of View
http://journals.aol.com/mkolasa101/PurelyPoetry
I WOULD CERTAINLY FEEL AT HOME IN CANEYHEAD. sam
ReplyDeleteI would love to live in Caneyhead. LOL. Great entry!!!!!! Hugs,
ReplyDeleteLisa
Sounds like a beautiful place, your Caneyhead.
ReplyDelete~~~~~~~
hugs from a former Texan
(lived in Conroe, Porter, and El Paso ;)
ha ha ha!!! I save my plastic bags for trash liners too!!!
ReplyDeleteTerra
Or you could live in Fuquay Varina. LOL
ReplyDeleteIt doesn't sound all that harsh....we still have women stuffing food in their bras right here in Hollywood fl!.....Wanna trade women? LOL Marc :)
ReplyDeleteWell, u couldnt do any of those things and live where I live lol..(Long Island NYC) Its amazing how we all live so differently yet have something special in common!
ReplyDeleteThanks for visiting my journal! Ginger
Amazing and hilarious!!! I don't think I qualify for residence of Caneyhead!
ReplyDeleteFound you through CarnivAOL,
Kate.
http://journals.aol.co.uk/bobandkate/AnAnalysisofLife/
LOL sounds like a great place to live.
ReplyDeleteKathy
I have done a few of those things LOL
ReplyDeleteThere are no armadillos here do possums count?
Terrie
ROFL, well, some of this stuff, yeah, bales of hay and trucks and the need for trashcan liners aren't limited to Texas, but I have to admit, I've yet to meet an 800 pound hog named after my dad, and I suppose I'd have to know what a pig scrap' IS, for me to qualify. :) Thanks for visiting my journal, too. Have a great Thanksgiving!! -- Robin
ReplyDeleteHog scrapin'? Shooting armadillos? LOL Cute entry. I'm not sure about hogs and armadillos though. Found you through CarnivAOL.
ReplyDeleteDianna
http://journals.aol.com/sazzylilsmartazz/DiannasMindlessMusings/
Caneyhead sounds like heaven with one exception, I check my caller ID..lol..Great entry...-Raven
ReplyDeleteI don't even know what "raining shot down", "hog scrapin" or "cracklin' frying" mean never mind actually do any of them! LOL!!
ReplyDeleteMartha :-)
http://journals.aol.com/lifes2odd/Justvisiting/
Actually, I think I could live in Caneyhead. I spent 15 years in rural Baja Calif, Mexico. I have had to chase the pigs when they got, birth goats, buy hay for the bull and watch him grow into an amazing huge bull with no hot lil' mama anywhere. Built the original pens for all except the chickens with pallets. Had to have 4 wheel drive vehicles to get in and out because of muddy clay roads. I've never shot a gun, much less a shotgun, guess I could learn. Havent seen an armadillo except in a zoo. I do know what it's like to drive a long way to get to town. Blessings, Penny http://journals.aol.com/firestormkids04/FromHeretoThere
ReplyDeleteWell..........let's see. I can identify with a few things. My Hubby shot an armadillo because the durn thing was tearing up our yard after we worked so hard to get the grass to grow, but I don't think he was wearing a silk tap pant set, lol.
ReplyDeleteI do line my trashcans with the plastic bags from Wally World and the grocery store.
I have substituted hot dog buns and hamburger buns for sandwiches when we run out of regular bread, so that is similar.........hee......
When we lived in CO, my husband spent bundles for his yearly week long deer/elk hunt.
I love your list. I found it to be hysterical.
Blessings!~
Susan
http://journals.aol.com/Rjet33/CountryLivingSouthernStyle/
It reminds me of Wairarapa-Bush in New Zealand.
ReplyDeletehttp://journals.aol.co.uk/acoward15/andy-the-bastard/
Ilove it Barbara!
ReplyDeletewoohoo!
I'm coming right over!:):)
You are such a funny writer!
love,nat
wow
ReplyDeleteI'd love to live in Caneyhead!
Marti
This is so very awesome.
ReplyDeleteGlad you found it and enjoyed it!
DeleteThis list reminds us so much of Iva, South Carolina, where we used to live. You had us really laughing, Barbara. :)
ReplyDeleteDefinitely one of my brighter and wittier moments! I used to have a redneck/oilfield glossary that was quite a hoot as well, but it got damaged and messed up. Think I deleted it.
Delete