“This
is what to do,” she said. “Flee to your Uncle Laban in Haran.
Stay there with him awhile until your brother’s fury is spent, and
he forgets what you have done. Then I will send for you. For why
should I be bereaved of both of you in one day?”
Genesis 27:43-45, TLB
Here
we go, our first stop in Genesis. This is Rebekah speaking to Jacob
after he had tricked Isaac into giving him Esau's blessing and Esau
into selling his birthright for a bowl of porridge. Doesn't matter
that Esau had some right to be angry....furious with his trickster
brother. If they had been in close proximity at this time, there
would have probably been a killing, much like Cain and Able. So when
confronted with fierce anger directed your way, whether deserved or
undeserved, the best thing to do is to make a retreat and give time a
chance to cool the fires of passion. Likewise, if you are the one who's anger is heating up, better to distance yourself from the object of your anger until it has subsided.
Yeah, it's hard not to put in
that one last comment.....to take that little jab at the one who is
ranting at you or angered you, but it is for the best. You'll be guarding yourself
from becoming too angry and intense and allow the other person to
begin to think more rationally and calmly. Then you can approach them
for forgiveness if you did wrong them. Or to find out what was behind
their actions and words. It worked for Jacob! Esau was truly happy to
have his brother return when he finally did. He had gotten over his
anger, gone on with his life and became a successful man in his own
right.
We will probably not have to leave the country or stay away
for years. It may take as little or an hour, or sometimes a month or
more. Just be in prayer in the meantime as to your actions & intentions, for the other person and what they may be harboring toward you
and for the Spirit of Forgiveness to proceed you into your next
meeting.
Do you have a hard time closing your mouth or walking away when angry? Have you had occasions when you regretted not doing so? Were you ever taught to "count to ten"?
Barbara
Now that I'm older, I'm more likely not to say things I would have said in my turbulent 20s, 30s, and 40s. I am often reminded of how much scripture there is about controlling the tongue and the mouth. God knew it would be a problem and gave us excellent advice about it, if we will learn it and use it.
ReplyDeletebetty
Absolutely!
DeleteI don't how anyone can complain the Bible is boring. So much intrigue and fascinating stories with so many great life lessons to teach.
ReplyDeleteI am not as apt to fly off the handle as I once was and compared to many people I've usually had a tendency to keep a calm demeanor. Sure, I've said plenty in the past that I should have held back, but I'm learning to be far more careful with the way I say things if I say anything at all.
Sometimes best to speak opinions after things have cooled down a bit.
Arlee Bird
Tossing It Out
You are spot on about the Bible. Stories to rival Shakespeare's plays, Poetry that speaks as vividly as any written, and oodles of solid wisdom! Even if one rejects it's supreme spiritual value, there is still much to be gained by its study.
DeleteReason certainly doesn't prevail when you are angry. I have that Scotch temper but I almost always keep it in check. It's one of the lessons I quickly get when I show my anger. It bites me in the rump.
ReplyDeleteMy dad always said the Bible was a book of wisdom. And it is.
Amen Ann! Our anger always hurts us as much or more than the one it is directed at. And Dad was right, the Bible is wisdom!
DeleteI was taught anger management by my mum :) she said something like - can't unsay angry words so speak when you have cooled down. Not that I always followed her advice when I was younger, but am working on it, and practice does make me better though long way from being perfect.
ReplyDeleteYou had a wise Mum! 😉
DeleteI always try to remove myself from the situation. I tell my kids to do the same.
ReplyDeleteThen you are doing great by instructing them in the way to go and leading by example! No parent can do better.
DeleteYes, to all three of those questions!
ReplyDeleteI can walk away, but I have to get in one more word or the last word. It is a wrong attitude on my part, I know, but it is like they think they've "won" if I stop talking. Can't have that. I need to work on that and I think I am making some progress. Generally these days, if something upsets me, I don't always say something immediately. I just go to the room where I color and start coloring or I go sit outside with the birds and squirrels and pray. I pray for Heavenly Father to remove any wrong feelings that I am having, and to help me to not get so upset when things trouble me, and for Him to show me how I should be feeling.
Whenever I think of regret, there is one moment in particular that comes to mind. It involves a former online friend. She was giving me down in the country about something and I let her have it right where I knew it would hurt. I wanted to take that email back at the very moment that I hit send. But, there was no recalling that email. I sent I don't know how many apology/asking for forgiveness emails. No response whatsoever. David said that I did my part. I was honestly repentant and asking for forgiveness. She just chose not to do so. It still grieves me the thing I said to her, but I can't do anything about it. You can't unring a bell.
I was taught to count to 10, but sometimes even 100 isn't enough!
Thank you for such a great post. Have a blessed day. :)
Sometimes words spoken during emotional outbursts while enough to bring the house down carry weighty consequences to end friendships and that is sad.
ReplyDeleteThat is a great point, Spacer! I've seen people carry teasing and slinging zingers just to be funny until just such as that occurs.
DeleteIt is about striking a balance, Barbara. Sometimes you have to speak out, but at other times people like to engage in a bit of baiting. It's a difficult call.
ReplyDeleteVery hard to not fall for a bait, but it is always the bigger person who doesn't. Speaking out is often necessary to protect our rights, but even there it is best not to do it in anger. I am so glad you popped over to visit, Guido!😊
DeleteI'm pretty good at holding my tongue most of the time. That being said, on occasion we all say, or do, things we regret. It's a wise person who remembers to count to ten, deep breathe, or think things through before responding in anger or emotion.
ReplyDeleteVery true!
DeleteBarbara,
ReplyDeleteYour words from the Bible are uplifting to my soul. We had a falling out between our two youngest children a couple of months ago, mostly one child. There's a very tense situation in our DS's life. We shared this with my parents and DH's oldest brother asking for prayers. When we told DS, he hit the roof. The old saying the tongue is like a sword could not been any more true because his words sliced our hearts to pieces. During it all it hurt so badly but before the evening was through we felt God's peace. We knew we did the right thing because we were seeking for prayers and by doing it we believe God intervened for the need at hand. He's still not speaking to us, won't reply to texts or take calls but we know someday things will change. It's just going to take longer than we want. Kindly keep DS in prayer. The situation still remains an issue and I'm not sure when this will end. All I can do is trust God like I've been doing since we learned about it. Thanks for the encouraging hope. :)
Sometimes even what we mean for help and comfort can be received wrongly. Suppose embarrassment was behind the son's reaction. You have my prayers!
DeleteThis is so true... I often say things to people in my head that I would never dream of saying out loud. Looking back, this is absolutely a good thing! Rehearsing conversations mentally first can give us that feeling of release while also helping us think through the consequences of those words. Thanks for sharing this reminder!
ReplyDelete