Thursday, May 26, 2005

One Solitary Firefly

Okay, so I will admit it. I have been discouraged. Feeling a lot lately like the twelve years I have been praying for Pete and his family have been for nothing. Wondering if Pete will ever give himself to Christ. That my dreams for a totally Christian home will never see fulfillment. So, I am honest with Him in my prayers. Why not be? He knows it all before I ever open my mouth. Why continue to cry and pray and break my heart open like bread upon the alter? Last Friday's Providence and Protection of Pete in that truck with that wheel.......He spoke to me "Don't grow weary.....continue to cover him in prayer. It gives Me more time to strive with him." My head says, "Yes Lord, I see." But my heart continues to cry out in despair! Why!?! Why won't even this cause him to come to you!?! When!? When will it ever happen?! So, though so very thankful for Pete still living and breathing and with us, I am very contorted all weekend. Torn between my head knowledge and what the cry of my heart is. I step out into a clear night to take the Boston Terrier gang to pottie before bedtime. The air is gentle and soft. Matilda strays very near the edge of the wood to do her business. As she is under house arrest, I strain into the darkness of the tree shade to see her form and keep track with her. Suddenly, one bright burst of light glows out of the darkness. Then just as quickly it is gone. It soon returns. And is gone. It is one solitary firefly. Often times the whole wood twinkles with them, like stars in the heavens. But tonight there is only one......It amazes me how much I can see when it lights! And how quickly the darkness rushes in when it ceases. And He speaks to me. He speaks reassurance directly to my heart. This is how it is. The Light pierces the darkness, bit by bit. One instance at a time. Each time, a little more is revealed. A little more of what had been hidden is seen. Seen clearly. This is how it is. This is how it is with Pete. Do not dispair! Oh, Lord! Be ever near. Keep me in ThyWill and Thy Way. Help me to glow for You. May You ever glow thru me! Thank You for refreshing my my heart. Thank You for one solitary firefly.

I ask all who pass this way to join me in prayer for my hubby's salvation. And also remember his health. He went to a new doctor last week. One who is stunned he has suffered dizziness and nausea for 5 years! One who is rechecking all the work that has been done before. One who is looking to things no one has considered before. It is my prayer that this time, he will finally get solid answers. Where there are solid answers, there is the chance for real help.

This is the last day of school for my youngin's. Bug is there just to get her report card and party. Bubba is taking his Geometry final, even though he was exempt, in order to raise his grade. I am very proud of him for making such a mature decision on his own! Last night we went for Bug's Kindergarten graduation. It was held at the High School football stadium. Mind you, we haven't had rain in weeks. The 6 o'clock news said no rain in sight till the weekend. The sky was overcast as we assembled in the stands. A few minutes before 7:00 the children came onto the field. At 7:01, lightening began to flash down in the sky behind the platform. Pledge of Allegiance to US and Texas Flags. National Anthem. Prayer. The principal then says, "Congradulations class! This concludes our program, parents please come on the field for your child. This is the shorest graduation ceremony ever." As we are climbing into the truck, the bottom falls out! Sheets of rain falling from the sky! Creeping home in the conjested traffic. Then, about 6 miles from home, the sun peeps thru one little crack in a cloud. And the biggest, full arch double rainbow we have ever seen in our livesfills the Eastern Sky. Greyblue above it. Glowing white below it. I would not have been surprised to see Jesus step thru the curtain of sky at any moment! I think Bug and her classmates got a very special memory to store away and tell one day.

Today's journal link is hosted by a smart, sophisticated young woman. I like to frequent her journal, just because her life is very different than my own. So if you have yet to meet up with Candace, go by Better Than Kicking the Dog , get to know her and expand your horizons a little. And now for our Word on words. Today we look at the 3rd Commandment. "You shall not use the name of Jehovah your God irreverently, nor use it to swear to a falsehood. You will not escape punishment if you do." Exodus 20:7 TLB. Hhhuumm, are you thinking "oh, I never use the gd word!" Well, that's good. But have you considered that each time we speak His name with no real thought of Him, we are being irreverent? You see a shocking news story and say "Oh, my God." You become frustrated and say "By heavens!, will you ever listen." In these instances we are not truly calling on Jehovah. But we are brandishing His mighty and precious name around like a slogan. Did you know that the early Jews would not even speak his name aloud? That the scribes actually picked up a new styluseach time they wrote his sacred name? And what of us who do ever use the gd word?! Ever give thought to what you are actually doing? To be "damned" is to be totally and eternally seperated from God. When you use the gd phrase, you are actually calling upon God to banish this person or thing forever from His presence. Gives you pause to think, does it not? Let us begin today to use His name appropreately. Use it for praise, for blessing, for His glory. Call upon it for salvation and help. Tell others of His excellant greatness.

Have a great day, my J~land friends!


  1. Great entry today Barbara. Please don't ever give up on Pete. You know you may be the only one in the extended family who prays for him. Your friends in j-land remembers him in prayer also. Hope you get to feeling better and I pray that your discouragement will soon pass. Hope you have a blessed afternoon. Helen

  2. Isn't it amazing how he will use something as small as a firefly to encourage?  That was an awesome testimony sis, thanks for sharing it.. drew water to my eyes.

    I will keep Pete in prayer.  I get the sence that his health issues and his spirutal health are linked.  Please do not be discouraged if the doctors come with bad news, God could be using it to bring Pete to his knees. Keep in mind God is in control, and he will always provide for your needs but the potter's hands sometimes tears down before he can rebuild and that firery firnance gets real hot and the silver burns away the imerfects only while it is in that fire.   something I wrote a few months back that I hope will keep you encouraged.

    Much Love,

  3. I am praying for your hubby.  I do understand how frustrating it is, and how painful it is to watch someone you love live without Christ as their Lord and Saviour.


  4. I will continue to pray for your husband. It took many years of prayer for God to reach mine. HE is so faithful, to trustworthy, that we know all will come out right.
    Take care. *Barb*

  5. countrybumkin779May 26, 2005 at 5:17 PM

    barb your family is always in my prayers. i have known this one woman for my whole life, and she was faithful for church. her hubby came on the special occasions......when the kids did a program of sorts, but that was about it. he was a great guy, just wasn't saved. coming up soon, he should be celebrating his FIRST birthday in Christ. like i said i've known them for the better part of 20 years, and he has just come to God in the last one. also.........i want to thank you for your thought on the third commandment. even when i went through my potty mouth phase i would never EVER say even OMG. i think people dont' realise the severity of takign His name the way they do sometimes. thank you again. sending you special blessings and love, jess

  6. Barbara, it looks like you have some wonderful friends here in J-land with a great deal of wisdom and spiritual maturity to boot.  Just this week my long-time- christian husband who is about at the end of his rope with the stresses of his job told me that he was giving up Christianity.  He said it just isn't worth it.  You struggle and do what is right and what do you get?  One catastrophe after another.  My mouth dropped open as you can imagine these words coming out of the spiritual leader in our home!  But later he confessed that it was just his head talking and he didn't really mean it.  I spent a lot of time in the Word that day trying to find the right words of encouragement and God gave me the verses in James 1:2 and 3 "Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of you faith developes perserverance."  The rest of the book of James is wonderful too, but I began to quote these verses to him knowing that he knew them and he smiled.  Don't give up honey, perservere!  I WILL pray for his salvation!  .:Barbara:.

  7. your prayers are heard and God is working. Keep the faith my friend.


  8. Hey there!! I have just been catching up on my journal comments!! hank you SOOO much for your wonderful and kind words!! It means so much!! You have one great journal here!!
    I can't wait to get to know you better!!



So glad you stopped by! Come 'round any time. ~ Barbara

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