Meeting The Family

By and large, Pete's family was big, loud, fun, warm and welcoming. But that didn't stop some of my first meetings with members of it from being odd or funny. I'm going to share a few of those experiences with you here:

Irene

One weekend Pete told me that his Aunt Irene had been wanting him to come, visit and kill some rabbits for her and asked if I'd care to come, too. I accepted. Irene lived down a fairly long dirt road/drive that dead ended on her property. An average size brick home behind a chain link fence. Irene was a widow and a diabetic that lived alone. Like so many in her family, she was warm, welcoming and loud. Ready to laugh and cut up.

She met us at the front walk way. Obviously excited and happy that Pete had put her on his agenda. As she ushered us inside and I stepped into her living room my eyes saw the largest collection of whatnots I have ever seen in my life! Every single space in the room was home to all it could hold. Fascinating! But I shuddered at the horror of having to dust each and every item.

Irene loved a hot, fast game of Yatzee. So in no time at all she had the card table set up and ready for us. We played game after game into the wee hours of the morning and had a blast doing so. She was a cut up. And Pete loved teasing her. I laughed so much that night my sides were sore for days.

At the appropriate time after dark, we paused and Pete took his headlight out and his gun and shined all around and killed for her the rabbits she had been wanting. When he was through hunting he called me out. Seems I had a job....to hold the rabbits while he skinned and cleaned them! (I was a country girl, but my Daddy never hunted or fished anymore by the time I came along. This was all new to me.) So after being a little grossed out and sustaining a few flea bites, I had been indoctrinated in the art of rabbit cleaning. For any city slickers, the flea bites were because the rabbits always have fleas, and the fleas go to searching for a new host not long after the one they are on is dead.

Irene was tickled and delighted. She could cook the fried and smothered in gravy rabbit she had been craving and had some for her freezer. We became friends and in the first few years after our marriage, I sometimes run errands or did shopping for her. Sadly, her heart disease took her from us before Bubba was born.

Hannon Rufus

One evening, Pete picked me up and told me they were having a party at his brother Benny's and that was our destination. Once again, down another long dirt road/drive in Caneyhead to emerge in a clearing with a trailer house and a host of folks outside under a large oak tree.

We pulled in, in Pete's little red AMX with Pete driving and me in the passenger seat. Perhaps I just wasn't thinking, but I went ahead and opened my own car door and stepped out. Immediately to see a small framed man, shirt half tucked in and half out, a two day stubble on his face, wobbling and swaying, walking my way with his arms outstretched and hollering "Hey, there darlin', give ol' Hannon a hug!" I had no idea who "ol' Hannon" was, but I was sure of one thing....I didn't want him near me or on me. I called out, "Pete! Pete, come get this person away from me!" Everyone under the oak was laughing, and even Pete when he came to my side was chuckling at me. He held out a hand and stopped Hannon a couple of feet short of me. He told him to slow down, hold on. She's new here. She's not used to this. Hannon staggered a little and quizzically looked at Pete asking what was wrong, he just wanted a little hug and a kiss. Pete put his arm around Hannon and led him away from me, explaining further that he had to let me get to know him first.

That was my first encounter with Pete's 1st cousin, Hannon Rufus. Yes, when he drank, he became a very lovable, clumsy drunk. But I later discovered a very genuinely warm and kind man when he was sober. He was a very hardworking, skilled hand. And everyone around would come to him to get their hogs scraped. It wasn't long before I would happily give ol' Hannon a little hug if he asked. Sadly, he's no longer with us either. Bubba got to know him, but Hannah was too small when we lost him to really remember him.

Darlene

For many years there was an old cafe in town called the Bluebonnet Cafe. One morning after an especially late night, were were hungry and Pete suggested the Bluebonnet for a good breakfast. He was hungry for cream gravy and biscuits.

We went in and sat down. A perky, blonde waitress came over and gave us menu's and was delighted to see Pete. She had to hug him, teased him about finally coming by to see her. He asked for his cream gravy and biscuits. Probably too late for that, she told him. But he went on about how surely for him she could find some. Wink, smile, wink. She said how for him, she'd make it herself if she had to.

I didn't say much, didn't ask anything. Didn't know what to think. Thought it best to just see exactly what went down. Our food was served and it was good. We ate and she came back and forth checking on us and cutting up with Pete. When we were about to leave, Pete pulled out the money for our meal and an extra $20 for a tip, explaining he knew she could use it.

We were on our way out, and she come up and hugged him and said, "Thank you Bubba!"

This was my first encounter with Pete's baby sister, Darlene.

Janie

One weekend, Pete said we were going to go stay with his 2nd cousins, Punk and Janie at their camp at Bush Lake. I packed for the weekend, complete with all my makeup and contact lens equipment. About halfway into the camp it was like we fell off the civilized world. No real road, just a trail/road through the woods that reeked of stagnate mud. Only someone experienced in driving in these conditions stood a chance of getting through without a 4-wheel drive. We arrived to find a large rambling camphouse that was covered in old newspaper tin sheets! You could still read the old stories and advertisements! No electricity. No running water. An old hand pump on a well outside. A number 3 washtub at the back door of the camp was the only hot bath to be had. Or in the summer you could take a bar of Ivory down to the lake. There were beds galore! Old beds in three rooms....approximately 7 or 8. And many a night in deer season or the middle of summer, every bed was full. Chickens free ranging all around the surrounding woods. A small butane icebox in the kitchen and two old buckets kept full of water with a ladle sitting on a small table beside the stove. Large flaps all around the house that could be raised in warm weather. In the cold they were down and a big old wood stove in the main room was kept stoked and hot.

Janie was short, round and pleasant. She had no problem handing you a bowl of potatoes and telling you to get them peeled and cut up, or starting a bowl of fried cornbread mixings and telling you to finish it and get it on the stove. She had a habit of dipping snuff, which was my first experience seeing a woman use any type of tobacco other than an cigarette. She loved camping and hunting. Her and Punk would play 42 at a drop of a hat, for hours on end and many came just to play with them. But her love above all loves was white perch fishing.

Now every moment when Pete was not by my side Janie was talking about Pete or feeling me out about what I thought of him, how I felt. But the next day, after a big breakfast of pancakes she and her grown and married daughter, Sis, took me out in the boat for some perch fishing. Or at least that was their cover. This was actually a two and half hour presentation on the virtues of and the possibilities that could be Pete married to a good woman. Apparently, Janie had sized me up and thought me an acceptable candidate. And since Pete stayed with them most of the time in that period, she apparently had an inside track, probably from observance of him on how Pete felt and the possibilities between us. Janie had that way of watching folks and knowing almost more about them then they did themselves.

To sum it up, this weekend was totally different than anything I had ever experienced before on many levels. But I came to love Bush Lake, Punk & Janie, and so many of our best times and warmest memories center around them and that place. Janie turned out to be one of my favorite people in Pete's family, a good friend and a joy to be around. We got up to plenty of adventures and a little mischief over the years.

The beloved old camphouse burned down one year. A new one was built in it's place, but nice as it was, it lacked the charm and fun of that old original. We lost Janie in a car wreck. Lost Punk a few years later. All is gone. But none will ever be forgotten.

How Do I Love Thee?

Now, let's see. Where was I? Oh, I was telling stories, sharing memories of Pete & I. Leaving a legacy for my children, and hopefully amusing the masses at the same time. Don't let the title fool you. I'm not going anywhere near Shakespeare, after all, this IS Caneyhead.



No, instead, I am going to share a picture that Pete snapped for me the other day, with all of you. You see, Pete & I are oil and water. Salt & pepper. So very many differences between us. Yet, like my references, we share an underlying common thread or two. As oil & water are both liquids. As salt & pepper are both spices. We are both basically old fashioned. Both have a wild side. Both can be very devoted. Both can be very stubborn. Both very intelligent.


But, boy, can we contrast! I try to see every angle of every issue. Pete cuts straight through the middle. I was always early every where. Pete was always last minute or late. I tend to see the glass half full, he often sees it half empty. The things I like to plan out first, he does spontaneously. The things he will try to plan or script ahead of time, I'd rather let unfold naturally. I usually don't worry until something happens....he'll be quietly worrying at the first sign of trouble. He can accept people for what they are better than I, but I can be politely sociable with folks he'd just as soon not look at. When I get mad, I want to tell you why and if you don't listen I'll get louder and holler to try to make you hear me. If he gets mad, he says little usually, distances himself from you and sulks.


So, here we are proving I suppose that opposites attract. As a young married couple, one of our neighbors had seen us behaving as lovebirds and feuding with one another. He was clearing out and going through many items for a garage sale and ran across a picture someone had made and framed. Lloyd brought it over and gave it to Pete & I. Never has anything or anyone summed us up so perfectly as this picture. It has hung in our bedroom ever since he gave it to us. Many times I had tried to share it here....only to have it come out blurry. And I had tried to get some artsy, graphic people to recreate it for me. But finally, the other day, Pete took a notion to take it down off the wall and photograph it with the new Nikon Coolpix camera. It came out great and now I want to finally share it with you all......and leave this explanation for it for our children for all time.

Skipping Ahead and Looking Back

Normally, that would not be a very wise thing to do; skip ahead while looking back. But as I was sharing about how Pete & I first met here, most recently, I am skipping ahead in the story to mention we just celecbrated our 26th wedding anniversary. In this past year I have seen a tenderer, gentler side of Pete than I have ever known before. I've found him to show how he cares for me in new ways for him, expressly words. And I've experienced him sharing times and activities with me more just because he knows it's what I like, I enjoy or I want. I can honestly say that these things have took my breath away and made me realize I have before me the man I have always wanted him to be. That's a treasure! My love for him is richer and deeper than ever before and my desire for him has taken on new depths of passion.

Okay, I know some of you are about to gag on the sweetness of these words. I've also seen a jealous side of him that never showed itself before, that scares me when I see it and saddens me to think that I am in any way responsible for it surfacing. It is my hope that in this new year for us, our 27th, that he can let go of that entirely and just hold tight to and enjoy with me all the newness and joy we have otherwise found.

I want to direct you all to a post I made about my man, in honor of my man a couple of years ago. I think it fitting to share it here in this series I am doing for my children. If you never read it, I most certainly hope you will. If you did read it before, please humor me and read through it again. He's one a kind. An original. And he's my love.

This is Dedicated to the One I Love

As Cold Now As Then

Hard to believe, but it was as cold around here back in January of '84 as it is now.  Or at least we had plenty of cold weather and nights where we had to turn the water off to protect the pipes.  Pete had took my phone number with him when he had left New Year's Day morn.  He had to leave early.  Said he had to work. Something about "pumping wells".  I really only half expected him to ever use that phone number.  But he did.  And we started dating regularly.  Lord knows it's been awhile and the hows, whys and whens are fuzzy.  But I have a collection of memories and snippets from that time.  A very vivid one is that Pete was the most consistent man at things like holding my coat for me when I put it on, or helping me off with it, pulling out chairs for me, opening doors for and all of that old school chivalry of anyone I had ever dated.  If he ever missed a single time, I can't recall it.  So I always felt special and respected when I was with him. I also recall how at odds Pete's nature was to how he lived.  By this I mean he had a childlike joy and thirst for fun in simple things.  Like a precious tow-headed boy.  But he was actually in his early twenties and had lived a fairly hard, grow-up quick sort of life.  The two things made him quite a paradox and I never knew quite what to expect out of him, from him.  He might call me on the phone and I might answer just to find playing in my ear "I Can Help" or "Rub it In" by Billy Swan.  Or he might surprise me by pulling a teddy bear shaped sucker out of his pocket for me.  We went to pool halls a lot.  He liked to shoot pool and was good at it.  He really didn't care to dance and hardly ever did.  There were songs on the juke box he liked to play.  One was George Strait's "You Look So Good in Love".  He'd play it and laugh and say he was dedicating it to my ex.  That it was what he was saying now.  And he liked John Cougar Mellencamp's "Little Pink Houses".  We also went to the woods spotlighting rabbits.  The first time he ever took me out for that I really was a little scared at first.  He was dressed all in black.  And we were too far out and away from any place I had been before.  I thought, "Lord, Barbara, what if he's a crazy axe murderer."  But it turned out all that got murdered was a rabbit or two and my Justin boots in the briar patches and mud.  Every time we went out, I dressed nice.....but I never knew no matter what we started off doing when we'd end up in the woods somewhere.  I was very stern and committed to my promise to myself to make them call, make them pick me up, etc., in the beginning.  I remember once we had planned for him to take me to his mama and step-father's for the weekend and he called me and said the clutch in his car had burned up the night before and he couldn't come, please follow my directions and you come here in your car.  Well, I told him no, absolutely not!  If you want me down there, you'll find a way to come get me.  He hung up.  I'm sure he simmered and cursed a little.  Then he called me back and said "Look, normally, I wouldn't mind at all coming after you.  But my car is torn up right now.  I could borrow my mama's but I just can't see the point in doing that when YOU have a perfectly good car all of your own."  So I thought this over a while and finally relented and drove down there myself.  After all, it was clear he was very serious and I also figured maybe being somewhere totally new to me with people I had never met before, to have my own wheels might not be a bad thing.  His mama was so kind, so welcoming.  Pete had even convinced her to let us both sleep in the room he used when he was there....because he had told her, "she won't give me any, anyhow."  LOL  Talk about nine shades of red when I found out he had asked and told her that.  But we did.  We slept with all our clothes on in that old bed, with the radio on all night long.  I don't know how many times it played "I'm Gonna Wake Up in Your Arms Tomorrow" but it seemed like every single hour.  (I had never been one to sleep with a radio or TV on, so I didn't sleep much at all.  Mostly just lay there in his arms and listened to songs.) Back to the cold:  once Pete and I were about to leave my house and the weather was gonna be below freezing.  My stepfather was gone and I told him I had to cut off the water first before we could leave.  Pete offered to open up the faucet around back for me and he grabbed hold of the top of the chain link fence that separated the front and back yard, hopping over like guys often do.  In about two seconds after his feet hit the ground on the other side, Spot, my stepfather's pit bull got after Pete.  And Pete hopped right back over!!  Just little bits and pieces of memories swirling around my head on a very cold January day.

Barbie meets Pete

I decided to post some of "our" stories here on Life & Faith. In part, because I love sharing them, telling them. But largely motivated to save these stories for my children. So please come along with me as we go back to Dec. 31, 1983:

This December was on of the coldest I can remember. It was 17 degrees for a high on Christmas day! Very unusual for us. And I was 23 years old. I had lost my mom less than a year before and was still living in the our home with my stepfather, Polk, as we both tried to chart out what came next. Between work and my running the roads I was actually seldom there.

On New Year's Eve of 1983 I was fed up with men. You find one treats you right, and seemed "the right feeling" never developed. Find one with the right feeling and sooner or later they let you down. Coming out of a nearly year long relationship that had gone south for no explainable reason, I had made up my mind to simply do what I pleased, go out with whomever I wanted to just for their company. New rules to play by: don't phone them, don't go to them, don't meet them, don't spend a dime of my money on them. They could do it all or nothing. I wouldn't be used, played, toyed with any more.

So on this particular evening I was at home getting dressed up to go out dancing for New Year's Eve. My best friend (who was already married), Mary Lou, phoned me up to say "come out here with us for New Year's. Glen and Connie are playing." "No, I think I'm going somewhere else." "Oh, come on" she insisted ~she was very good at insisting ;o)~"Paul is gonna be there with his fiance and Ronnie says you have to be there." "Okay, I'll come out there, but I'm not promising I'll stay there."

So I finished dressing, pulled on my cowboy boots and got a good coat and left the house. I walked into the club to find the others already there. I ordered a drink and sat down with them. It wasn't extremely pleasant for me; hearing and seeing Glen and Connie brought back nostalgic memories of the past year. I half hoped, half dreaded Rocky might walk in the door. I wanted to bolt and run. Go somewhere else, anywhere else. But each time I was about to make my excuses and cut out, someone would ask me to dance or engage me in conversation and I'd end up staying on.

It wasn't long before us girls had to excuse ourselves to the ladies room. Being single, my eyes were perusing the men I saw along the way. Sloppy, ugly, obviously taken, drunk, old so and so....then I spy a tall, slender frame bent from the waist over the pool table. His hair looked like spun gold, shining under the Bud light hanging above the table. His jeans fit his rear just right. I nudged Mary Lou in the side and said, "Oh, look at that one! The only good looking guy in here." Mary Lou said, "What? Where?" Oh, hell, she was too married to notice. Coming back by the pool table upon exit of the ladies room, I tried to catch his eye, but seemed to fail. Oh, well, back into the dark recesses of our table.

Later on, a song started, Percy Sledge I think, and Mary Lou was obviously going to be mad at Ronnie if he didn't make it back to dance with her. So I went to warn him to high tail it to the dance floor. I walked up to find him talking to the handsome young man I had noticed over the pool table. Forever full of himself, Ronnie made some crack. And then the handsome young stranger leaned in between us, tapped the side of his cheek with a long slender finger and said, "give me a little kiss, right here." I pulled back a little and took in his face. It was kind, cheerful and full of mischief. His right brow was slightly cocked. Why not? So I leaned over and gave him a quick peck on the cheek. It seems Ronnie made some quick introductions. But suffice it to say, at some point he ended up over at our table. After Mary Lou and stomped his foot repeatedly, he had asked me to dance to a slow song. And he got up once again to dance to "Auld Lang Syne" as the clock struck midnight. As the lights came up and "Turn out the Lights, the Party's Over" started blaring from the jukebox he asked about us doing more tonight. I told him I was going home. Told him where I lived and told him he could come over and watch TV if he wanted to. He assured me he'd be there. I wasn't counting on it.

I walked out to my Mustang and cranked up, started getting ready to leave. Letting some cars pull out and get away from me. Noticed in the rear view mirror that my handsome young man was packing about 5 girls into an AMX. Well, he obviously got a better deal! So much for that. And I pulled out and headed home. I was surprised to find my stepfather had not returned from a family party he had gone to. Being an old night owl, I suppose. I walked through the cold house. Lit a couple of heaters. Peed. Was kicking my boots off when I heard a car in the drive and in just a second, there was a knock on the door. I turn on the porch light and opened the door to see HIM standing there! Wow. I didn't think you were coming, it looked like you were busy. He claimed the women I had seen climbing into his car, were his three sisters and a couple of their friends he had to take home before he came over. We settled down on the couch. Watched TV. Talked. He had given me three options of names I could call him, and I never could settle on one. Polk finally came home. I made introductions. Then Polk headed for bed. We talked some more. Cuddled and kissed a little, as much from the cold as anything. Not long after Pete said he'd better head off to home, that he had to work the next day. That he was a pumper and had to check the wells every single day. I urged him to settle down on the couch instead, due to the late hour, the 15 mile drive and the whole New Year's and alcohol thing.

(It was several months later when I heard the story from his sisters about that night after the club closed. They said he herded them into the car like cattle. And literally drove like a bat out of hell, leaving them scared senseless, to get them where they were staying that night. Claimed he fairly threw them out of the car when they got there, barely slowing to a roll. It was a good 30 mile round trip from the club, to there, and back down to my house. He made it in about 10 minutes.)

The Out Back Chili House

Last night Pete and I discovered a most unusual restaurant tucked up here in the woods by our house: The Out Back Chili House. Reservations are a must! There is only one table. And your server is dedicated to you and only you the whole evening. And surprisingly affordable! Let me tell you all about our night.

Pete and I cleaned up and each put on our very best nightwear. He, plaid lounging pants and a grey muscle shirt. The combination really set off his golden hair and piercing blue eyes. I chose my flower print clingy a-line spaghetti strap gown that comes about mid-thigh and accented it with my mothers double strand pearls and one of Donna's lovely anklets. Then we went out and walked around to the back porch. There we were met by our lovely server. Cute, young and sassy, I do believe she was flirting with my Pete. Her name for the evening was Clara.

Clara wore a hot pink scooter skirt with a turquoise top and a striped vest. She had long, flowing, strawberry-blond hair. Her eyes danced with merriment and her face would often turn cherry red with the blush of embarrassment as she interacted with us throughout the night.

We met Clara at the porch and she walked us past an overloaded pear tree to reveal a roaring fire in a fire hole in the ground. Just beyond it, under an opening in the pecan tree tops, was a carpet with a small wooden dining table and two chairs. Beside the table was a lantern and upon it's top was a Navajo tablecloth with fresh gardenias in a vase and a candle. After seating us, Clara took our drink order. I choose the Coke and 7, Pete opted for an ice cold Miller Lite. Clara left our silverware with us and turned on some soft music. A delightful and romantic mix that included Otis Redding, Johnny Rivers, Billy Joe Royal and Delbert McClinton.

We lit our candle and relaxed. We could look directly into each other's eyes and touch our fingertips across the table. We found that when we slipped our shoes off we could also rub the other's foot underneath. Quite titillating!

"Clara" returned with our drinks and gave us menus that revealed that homemade chili was THE dish of the night. Could be order in variety of ways with extras and options. We both chose the Frito pie with onions and grated cheese. I asked for a refill and Pete joined me in ordering Coke & 7 this time around. Our server left us in solitude to contemplate the music, the fire, the stars and each other.

The music was just loud enough to hear every word, but low enough to hear the chorus that was coming from the woods of chirping crickets and tree frogs. Occasionally the fire would snap and pop. I don't think I've ever been in a restaurant with a more pleasant atmosphere.

Our dinner arrived carried expertly by Clara on a large tray held erect on the fingertips of one hand. She served our food and I have to say I have never seen such a simple dish garnished and presented in such a pleasing way. Pete and I both dove right in. It was delicious and just the right temperature. I ate until I thought I'd pop and then Pete polished off what was left of mine after finishing his own. Time for a smoke and more conversation as we sipped our drinks.

At just the right moment Clara was back, ready to take away our dirty dishes. There were peppermints to combat the onions. And she went away to tally our "bill". She soon returned. It seemed a little pricey at first, $45.00. But once I understood that my imaginary Visa was accepted there, it became a great deal. Pete dug out a little cash for a tip for Clara. As she was so young and precious, we invited her to sit and visit with us while we finished our drinks. We all did some star gazing and she and Pete searched out the big dipper but couldn't locate it last night. When we were done we helped her close down the restaurant by turning off the lantern, putting the CD player in the Bronco and sitting the table under the shed.

"Clara" came inside and put on her bed clothes, snuggled up in the blue lazy boy with her teddy and the TV. Pete and I disappeared into our room to play a little "dice".

Another wonderful, unforgettable evening in Caneyhead.

(This all started with an email from my Pete at work yesterday challenging me to "e-mail me naughty things you are going to do to ME this WEEKEND...
or if not Me , tell me anyway.
If , When , Where , How and How Long...-" I answered him throughout the day, one email at a time for each of the five conditions. When I got home last evening, I cooked up the chili and left everything necessary out and accessible in the kitchen. When I invited Hannah to participate by being our server, she was overjoyed! Happy for us to have a special evening, and to get to play pretend with two adults. We all worked together to have the fire, table, lantern and music ready to go. Once we were all dressed and ready, we went into "character" and remained there until we came in the house afterward. And I have to say Bug threw herself into her role and went the extra mile to make it all "real" with a menu and order pad and all those little touches. I share this in hopes it inspires YOU to do something a little unusual, creative and inexpensive with your own mate.)

Goodbye Mrs. Johnson

 

Folks there's an old saying around these parts:  "If you want to know how a Christian should be living, go in any honky-tonk and ask someone there."  Pure and simple, if you grew up around Christianity, church, religion at all you probably have a pretty clear idea of what is expected by and large from someone professing the faith.  And the other point is that most sinners know they are a sinnin'.  There's an old country song that goes about like this:  "Goodbye, Mrs. Johnson.  You self-righteous biddy.  I don't need your loud mouth and I don't need your pity. So can go back to whatever you hypocrites do and when I speak to Heaven be nice and I'll put in a good word for you."

 

Now have I got everyone good and stirred up?  Let's simmer down and I'll tell you what I'm up to.  A dear friend of mine sent me a note today.  Talking about the vast differences she sees in Christians and how so many times they seem not to do the things Christ did, and to do the things he didn't.

 

And that got me a thinkin' about my own walk with the Lord.  And the many changes and, I hope, growth over the years.  And I want to share a little of what I discovered as I pondered, here, with you all today.  Reason being two-fold:  to explain some of the discrepancies between us Christians to non-Christians and to give brothers and sisters in Christ a little eye opener as to what stage they may or may not be in.  I'm not gonna sort out who's who.  I'll leave that up to the Holy Spirit as He is significantly capable.

 

More often than not when someone accepts the Lord Jesus as their Savior they are floating on a supernatural high for some time afterward.  This can make new converts extremely willing to share their experience with anyone and everyone.  They are thrilled and, by golly, you should be too!  They'll hound you to go to church with them.  You'll find there is not a topic under Heaven they can't tie into needing to be saved.  Now all of this may make them very annoying.  But it's only right and natural as they have just found their One True Love.  It's an exciting time! Try to be patient and just let what you don't want to hear go in one ear and out the other. 

 

After one has been a Christian for a time, some sooner than others, the Holy Spirit will begin His reconstructive work in their lives.  (Although a few fall away before ever getting here or once it starts.)  See Jesus loves us all as we are but He does love us too much to leave us that sorry old way.  This time can be very painful, because the crux of it is to get the person to see sin as God sees it.  OUCH.  Not pleasant.  God Almighty can't even look upon it.  It's vile and revolting.  But necessary to see it.  Why?  So that we can recognize it in our lives, confess it and allow him to take that filth away and replace it with some good pretty stuff.  The problem area is that while we are becoming more sensitive to sin of our own, we are also becoming much more sensitive to all sin.  And like a child who has just learned a thing is bad to do, we go around trying to correct or stop everyone we see doing it.  So that person who always just took you as you were may suddenly seem down right fed up with you.  And no one wants to be around anyone who finds them disgusting.  So the best you can do is try to avoid these sin policemen and be on your best behavior when you do by chance encounter them.  God have mercy on the man trapped with his wife at this time.  (Pete said AMEN)

 

Oh, but after God is through sweeping up the dirty old house of a soul He's now indwelling, He begins to teach the disciple all about love.  Real love.  God's love.  If you are a Christian please don't miss this step!  You'll begin to see those around you as He sees them.  He has John Conlee's rose colored glasses in one hand and mercy in the other.  He looks at folks with love.  He understands why and how they went astray.  What's wrong grieves Him as he only wants the best of them, expects the best of them.  Motivated by love and mercy He wants to lift them up and fix all that is wrong.  He wants to show them kindness and compassion.  At this stage the Christian may be strangely quiet.  As they know God cares more for everyone they know more than they ever could.  As they realize that it is God's Holy Spirit who reaches men and women, not our contrivances. You may not be talked to nearly as much about spiritual matters, but you can bet you are being talked about a lot!  In prayer.  In intercession.  That aggravating Christian is on their knees in front of their Heavenly Father crying and praying for your soul.  Loving you more than you may ever know.  This is the time of sowing.  Every Christian is missing the most beautiful burden they will ever bear if they do not get here.  So, enjoy the peace and allow them to reconnect to you.  You'll be glad you did.

 

On down the road a Christian comes to realize they are mostly tending their own garden.  Busy working on and refining themselves.  They are kind without thinking.  They are giving without reason.  They occasionally have to put their foot down and say not in front of me or we don't do that here.  But over all they are welcoming.  Inviting.  Pleasant to be around.  They are trustworthy.  They hesitate to say anything harsh, but when they do they try to temper it in love.  They are doing the things God has been refining in them without effort, without pondering.  Above all they are acutely aware of how far they have come and that it is only by the grace of God that they have.  This makes them very humble about it all, not proud.  These are those people who have the "glow".  The very glory of Christ seems to rest upon them.  If you have some in your life treasure them!  Oh, that I would be there.  Oh, that I will get there by His grace!  Have no fear of these Christians.  They are leaving it all up to His Holy Spirit.  Trusting God to do all He can to call you to Him while there is still time.  And lovingyou deeply in the meantime. 

 

Remember, Jesus spent His time here among the sinners.  That's part of what led to him being cruxified.  The "Mrs. Johnson's" of his day didn't like the company he kept.  And the only harsh words he ever spoke or hollering he ever did was at those "snakes and vipers", the chief priests, sadducees and pharisees who should have known better. 

 

Please take note that some of this is tongue in cheek.  And whether you be calling yourself Christian or not, I hope you see the love I have for each of you.  I know this is not the entry I promised you next, but Someone had a change of plans. 

 

Love,

Barbara

 

Seattle, Washington.........1,904 miles from Caneyhead.....SALUTE!!!

 

 

Hello, Mrs. Johnson by Tom T. Hall

Tags: honky-tonk, Hello Mrs. Johnson, Tom T. Hall, John Conlee

On My Mind

 

So, this evening I have a few things on my mind. First off, the other day Bug picked some blackberries and dew berries so that I could make some dumplings for her daddy to eat with ice cream.  That brought up a memory of me picking berries and how God used it as a lesson in my life.  I wrote an entry about it in my journal back in '05.  I feel it was one of my best.  So if you are new around Caneyhead, you might enjoy reading it. 

 

Berries Among the Briars

 

 

Then I got online and was reading my email when I saw one from my friend, Rachel that was one of those jokes that is meant to make you think.  Here it is:

 

One day, God was looking down at earth and saw all of the bad behavior that was going on.  So he called one of his angels and sent the angel to earth for a time.

When the angel returned, he told God, 'Yes, it is bad on Earth.  95% are misbehaving and only 5% are not'.  God thought for a moment and said 'Maybe I had better send down a second angel to get another opinion'.

So, God called another angel and sent her down to earth for a time, too.  When the angel returned, she went to God and said, 'Yes, it's true.  The earth is in decline; 95% are misbehaving, but 5% are being good'.

God was not pleased, so he decided to e-mail the 5% who were good because he wanted to encourage them and give them a little something to help keep them going.

You know what the e-mail said?

 

No?

 

Okay, just wondering.  I didn't get one either.

 

My first thought was "funny".  My second thought was "ouch".  Ouch because I wondered if God was really to do this, would I get an email?  After all, the joke doesn't say if you have accepted Christ as your savior.  Nor does it say if you call yourself a Christian.  It was if you are "being good". 

None, no not one is TRULY good accept for Christ.  But we who claim Him should be trying daily to be as good as we can.  We should be trying to follow the laws and commandments of the Bible.  Jesus said that "if you love me you will obey me".  That's pretty straight forward.  We should be being the "best we can be", as the old army commercial theme song used to say.  After all, we are in the Lord's army!  And Jesus is our General.  Are we following His "marching orders" or have we gone "AWOL"?

Or have the trials and trouble of this world left you feeling "shell shocked" and unable to proceed?  Are you lying in the "infirmary" of confusion and self doubt?  Have the enemy of worldly things taken your heart or mind "captive"?  "Missing in action" because you are afraid you won't measure up, don't trust your training.  Did you indeed become AWOL?  Are you "dodging" your calling and your "duty"?  Step up and get your "field orders" from the Holy Spirit!  "March" in time to His will!  "Enlist" in some soul searching and confession.  Get in "basic training" through the word and the church.

Present yourself "ready for action", one of the "few, the proud, the called"!

 

                   

National prayer day would be a good place to start.  Prayer for our misguided nation.  For our leaders.  For the world.  And most importantly, for yourself and His leadership, scrutiny, forgiveness and blessing.  For the only way to truly change anything is to change yourself.  

- Barbara 

 

 

Tags: berries, email, army, National Day of Prayer

aoljurlAdd, aoljurlAdd_1

This is Dedicated to the One I Love - A Working Man

 

 

Twenty-four years is a long time.  And through that time I have given my Petie Pete my love.  And he has earned my respect.  Sometimes I don't even realize just how much so, until I get out in the world and see other men in situations.

 

As a child growing up Pete had to take spare parts and assemble his own bicycles if he wanted one.  Took many a bath under the water hose outside.  And was often chauffeur for his dad when he wanted to ride through the woods and drink. 

 

When he was a teenager, he started working when and where he could.  At one time he had a Monte Carlo and an old Chevy Truck.  One good motor between them.  He'd pull that motor and swap the vehicle it was in when he got bored with one ride or the other. 

 

One of his first really steady jobs was as a helper/apprentice with a local mechanic.  A really good mechanic.  Taught him well.  Money and perhaps a little too little parental supervision had him in pool halls and beer joints at an early age.  Of course the legal drinking age in Texas was only 18 back then, too.  He got very good at pool.  Could really run a table!

 

By the time I met him on a New Year's Eve, he was working as a pumper in the oilfield.  He was just 21 years old.  He fixed most anything his employer had with a motor on it.  And had to run by assorted wells each and every day and make sure they were producing, motors running.  Those old "putt-putt" motors would run on any type of fuel.  And Pete could usually coax them into running with a bare minimum of tools.

 

March 12th we wed at the J.P.'s office.  Only two and a half months of dating.  We were so young and so thought it would all be so easy.  I remember the Pete's first payday after we wed, he made a line of bills from the front door to the ice box in the kitchen, and arrow of bills held with magnets up the front of the box and then the rest of his pay in a basket on top.  I was working, but he was so proud to be Provider.

 

When we wed, he said "Well, I always said no wife of mine was gonna work, or gonna have to work.   But since you already have a job, a nice office job I'll leave it up to you."  And true to his word, he did.

 

While we were yet still Newly Weds, one evening he went out to shoot some pool at a local club.  One of his brothers was out there.  I wasn't very happy about this turn of events.  But before too long he was home.  And he said, "It occurred to me that I'm married now.  And married men have no place in pool halls and they are no place to take your wife."  In all these years he has only gone a handful of times, and each time with my blessing as it was a big boys night with old friends and family.

 

My Petie Pete doesn't talk much about his feelings.  I could probably count on my fingers the times he has said "I love you."  He learned early on that folks don't always say what they mean.  That people lie and deceive and use words to gloss over a multitude of sins.  I have come to find, to see with God's help, that every time Pete comes through our door at the end of a day, he is saying  "I love you.  I choose you.  This is where I want to be." 

 

That's not to say my Pete isn't romantic.  He is.  Flowers and balloons.  Candles and incense.  Little unexpected treats, like teddy bear shaped lollipops.  He has woke me from a dead sleep to come outside to a blanket on the ground by a crackling fire, with fruit and cheese and wine coolers. 

 

In all these years, I can't say that Pete has ever spoken a lie to me.  Skirted the truth when he thought it would hurt me or make me blow up, yes.  Refused to answer a question on a few occasions.  But uttered lying words....never.  He still believes one's word means something.  And I've seen him stick by oral deals that he deeply regretted because, well, he said he would. 

 

He's held various jobs.  Installed carpet for awhile.  Worked for a high line repair company.  But most of his years were spent in the oilfield.  Pumper, pusher.  A pusher is a crew boss.  He has an uncanny knack for looking over a situation, deciding on what needs to be done and how to do it and then proceeding or bust.  Either shut up and help him or get out of his way.  He once walked off his job because he was about to get a raise, but his crew was not.  It wasn't right and he knew it.  Never mind he had me and Bubba at home and I wasn't working at the time.  He worked on lawnmowers and such for folks and we hung in there for a month.  Then he went back to work, with a raise for him and for his crew!

 

Oilfield work is incredibly hard if you take it seriously.  Lifting things by yourself out in the field with no mechanical help.  Pete's a slight of build guy, but he's always been solid muscle.  There's no rain outs in the oilfield.  You do what needs to been done come hell or high water.  It's you, your crew if you have one and what's on your truck.  He's mopped up oil spills with hay.  Can you imagine how hard to handle hay wet with oil?

 

He's worked as a pipefitter and welder's helper.   That has meant being out on site for days at a time.  He designed a network of pipe in a local lumber mill once that so impressed the folks that they flew people in from other locations to look it over. 

 

I remember when Bubba was a baby Pete's boss wanted him to learn how to operate his old backhoe.  So Pete brought it home and dug a sewer line with it to practice.  So clumsy.  Over the years he got so good that he could knock over a tree with a couple of swings or reach up with the bucket and pick you a single leaf off a tree. 

 

He's been good enough at the things he does, mechanicing and oilfield that people have called him offering him jobs in both fields.  But I think he has taken the most pride in the custom oak cabinetry he built with his brother for 6 or 7 years.  Tommy figured and bid the jobs. Lay it out and cut it.  Pete assembled them, sanded them.  Beautiful work!!!  Unbelievable detail and functionality.  Long hours on a concrete floor are hard on a body that has been jarred and battered for years.   

 

Bottom line, whatever he has done he has taken pride in.  Put his best into it, even if it was hard, or hurt, or took a long time or he didn't really have all he needed to do it.  Over the years his body has been betraying him.  And especially this past year, his back.  He can no longer commit to a job.  Not at anything he has ever done.  Never knows from one day to the next if he has two good hours in him, none or on rare occasions 5 or more.  For a man who never had benefits and has no insurance it has been a very slow and painful process trying to get any attention.  Any help.  Any answers.  Only recently he got word that he can have a whole spine MRI at Galveston for a drastically reduced price.  Now to manage to scrap up that money and go through the often long and arduous process of setting up the appointments.

 

This man is so miserable, never feeling good.  Never feeling well.  But more than anything I believe it is slowly driving him crazy not being able to do all the things he has before.  And especially not being able to work and provide for his family.  All he wants in this world right now is help getting help. Help getting better or well.  Help getting back about the business of a man.

 

Pete has been a wonderful father in many respects.  Not a Ward Clever type father, but his own brand.  His children are the one place where he is not afraid to lavish his love.  He's not big on doing kiddy activities with them, but they are welcome from toddler hood to join him in any endeavor or pastime.  They know they are loved and they know they are protected.

 

Brave and calm in situations where I'd loose it totally.  I've seen Pete lick his thumb and stick it in the spout of a jug full of fuel that was burning, so as to cut off the air and keep it from exploding.  I've seen him shoot at a water moccasin and miss.  The snake reared up and charged straight at him.  Cool as a cucumber he waited until it was close and then stamped down one boot clad foot atop it's head.  Then he lay the barrel of the .22 behind it's head and pulled the trigger. 

 

He has never been a jealous man.  He has always trusted me to handle any passes or inappropriate behavior from other men.  But there has never been any doubt in my mind or theirs that if they don't pay heed to me, they'll answer to Pete.

 

This man has always had a deep respect for older folks.  He goes out of his way to help them when he can.  He tried to always honor his father and mother while they were still here.  Likes to listen to their stories, to learn from them. 

 

He can be generous to a fault, giving away over the years much more than he has ever sold be it livestock or parts for vehicles.  If it's time to eat and you are here, you're invited even if he has to share half his portion with you.

 

Is he perfect?  Absolutely not.  He's as stubborn as mule, he plays as hard as he works, he drinks too much beer and can be as gripey as a crab.  But he's my bear.  My bear when he's a grizzly and my bear when he's a teddy.  And I wouldn't trade him for anyone else.

 

Barbara

 

 

 

aoljpictureUpload, aoljpictureUpload_1

Yes, I'm Still Here!

                                       

Okay, some of you probably think I dropped off the face of the earth.....but I didn't.  And I have been keeping up with all of you....read all the alerts for journals and groups.  But I have had very little PC time and have not invested in going to pages and leaving comments.......sorry! :(     

Well, Pete had the Carotid Ultrasound....but he didn't have any MRI!  They tried him in the regular machine.....no way.  Then they moved him to the "open" one....yet still when that camera that Pete called the "cage" came in front of his face....uhuh, no way!  He felt awful, was nervous and shaky.  We went outside and walked and he had a snack and he thought he had himself together, so we go back in, but nope.  They suggested we call his Doctor and reschedule with a pain pill or nerve pill to take before hand.  We called, but the doctor said "Nope!".......So we went again on Friday.  Pete was well rested, full, less sick.  He took a full dose of Benedryl beforehand.  Thought he would be relaxed and groggy and it would be okay this time.....but, NOPE.  So we are backing up and scheduling CT scans of his brain instead.  Not nearly as good information wise, yet much better than no look inside.

Who would have figured it!?!?  He has never shown any indication of being claustraphobic.  He has worked up high in the air too...but he'll flat out tell you he doesn't really like heights.  He has stood rock still and faced a charging watercosin down.  He has calmly inserted his saliva wettened thumb into the end of a burning gas can to extinguish the fire.  Things normal folks can't do without freaking out. 

Well, no foul here.  He gave it his very best shot, more than once.  They said that 2 out of 5 people can't do it.....at least not awake.  That's over a third of the folks who try!  That's a lot. 

Maybe I'll get back to a semi-normal schedule this next week.  Just know that I adore you all and will make my way around to comment, IM, or send a private e-mail as soon as I can.

Enjoy this beautiful Sunday in our Lord!  

 

 

Answering Journal Jar Question #58

Journal Jar Question #58 - What convinced you the most in your choice of a spouse?

Humm....was it any one thing? Keep in mind, I was not allowing Christ to be Lord of my life at the time. So I did not consult Him, or seek His will. I made a purely human, worldly, carnal choice when I picked my sweet and precious Pete. He did everything a man was "supposed" to do: opened every door, pulled out every chair, took my coat, you name it. He courted me. Also, when he was out of work briefly, he spent his very last dime on a Valentine card for me. So I knew he was not selfish. He was handsome and fun. Could, can, make me laugh. He respected his parents very much. All the women in his life highly recommended him. But the two things that touched my heart the most were that he was content and able to just hold me, cuddle. And the fact that he was strong enough to stand up to me when I was totally wrong or irrational. Most of the thoughtful and kind men I had ever dated would crumble and back down when I strongly asserted myself. So I felt the odds were good he would never come to resent me and I would never lose all respect for him. So far, this has held true. Twenty-one years together, this past March. (But I owe God much credit and thanks for that!)


So yesterday, Bug went to my sister's house and spent the day playing with her cousins from Houston. They had a ball! Bubba went with me to town to buy groceries and then when we were home and I had them put away, he took me on a ride down the pipeline in his hoopie. We had no problem getting thru the mudholes and bogs. It was nice, just the two of us. But hot! Now, he has come in today and told me he has stuck it in the pipeline. I will have to go down there with him and keep the chain taught while he come-a-longs it out of the hole. Yippee! : \

Today's journal is by a fellow Texan, named Donna. I love her flat out blunt style. She makes frequent posts. My favorite ones are when she records conversations she has had with her boys or some other family member. Her journal is called: Sweeping the Cobwebs from my Mind.

Now for our look at the word. "Stop your anger! Turn off your wrath. Don't fret and worry - it only leads to harm." Psalm 37:8. TLB Read the entire chapter. The Lord laughs at the wicked, who plot against the godly. He knows their judgement is coming. Don't despair. Don't be angry. Trust glorifies God - not anger. (This chapter was the rock that I leaned on to get thru the worst time of my life! I cannot tell you how often I prayed thru these verses. But I can tell you that God is faithful!) God bless all my J~land friends!