Tuesday, May 23, 2017

#ISawItOnFacebook



My first thoughts upon reading the little cartoon above, were how true the first sentence is!  Stresses and lack of appreciation have had me daydreaming of running away more than I ever did as a child. In fact I only remember ever thinking of it as a child but once.

As to the rest of it, who hasn't put something in a place and had trouble locating it later?  Keys, glasses, remote controls, phones...are all relatively small, all are often in our hands when we go to change locations or find we need both hands.  So it is easy to place them somewhere unusual  making them hard to locate later.

As to forgetting where one is going; who hasn't been lost in thought while driving and passed up their exit?  Back when our Hannah Bug was in the younger grades, she rode the bus most every day to school. Once in awhile, for one reason or another I'd drop her at school in the morning on my way to work instead.  She'd settle into the car, stick her nose in a book and be totally quiet.  Me being accustomed to being in the car by myself, I found us a mile or two out of town on several occasions before realizing I still had Hannah in the car!  It became a standing joke with us.

Yet, this reminds me of a serious, ugly problem I see happening all around:  older persons being painted with the broad stroke of ageism.

Ageism is unacceptable behavior that occurs as a result of the belief that older people are of less value than younger people."

There is a current commercial for a service to help children help their parents manage their money. The ad literally makes my blood boil! They make the blanket statement that "as we age, we lose the ability to handle money."  Hogwash!  I have personally never known an older individual who couldn't handle their money.  In fact, most budget, plan and decide when to splurge as well or better then they did in their younger years.

I overhear and see many times, things that allude older people don't want to try anything new, be it technology, social media, foods they never ate before, or music of a new type or genre.  Older persons might be a little more selective in what new things they try, but every older person I know is open to some new things, with many mastering them with excitement.

I could give many more examples, but the bottom line is that all people do not age in the same way and at the same rate.   Decline in one area does not mean all of one's faculties are gone.  They have experiences and insights younger people can't have yet.  Just as this new and changing world is giving the younger people a different set of experiences and insights.  Instead of warring and disrespecting, perhaps the generations should try respecting one another and combining a century's worth of living into answers for ourselves and our world.

What's the latest "new" thing you have tried?  Have you experienced ageism directed at you?  Do you you have a problem valuing persons of a generation not of your own?

Barbara

 Please  ! 😍


47 comments:

  1. When you work with teenagers, you're constantly being looked at as old. And the whole "isn't that cute" thing the younger do to the older sometimes... Sometimes don't you wish stupid was more painful?

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    1. Yeah, sometimes. By & large the 20 and youngers I know are bright and have good common sense, though they can seem eerily ignorant of anything that occurred before they reached age ten. That, to me, is frightening.

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  2. I know I've tried something new a couple of times lately but I can't remember what it was. lol Like this post very much since I'm 80 but I feel I still do pretty darn well, not perfect, but okay.

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  3. My MIL, who managed her and FIL's finances for years, did have a decline in her ability after a stroke, diagnosis of Parkinson's, and dementia that came with it. Bills weren't paid and services were threatened to be turned off. Brother in law took over and things were restored. I manage the money here and lately found myself doing some things out of the norm, i.e., I applied the car payment accidentally to the credit card payment (good news was it paid the credit card down a bit more and we still had money to make the car payment when I realized my mistake). I double check things a lot these days. I still have trouble being called ma'am at the store......

    betty

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    1. It's hard when health issues rob a person of some of their capacities, but none harsher then the ones that effect the mind.

      Anyone who has paid bills long enough has most likely made that mistake at least once.

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  4. Thought provoking questions here.

    I come from a culture where respect for age is rather deeply ingrained, whether the individual merits it or not. Silly, selfish people come in all age brackets - no-one deserves respect just because they are 100 years old imho. I have no issues valuing anyone of any generation, younger or older, age doesn't come into it for me, but equally I can't respect people just because of their age. For which I get brickbats because that's not the way people see things back where I come from, anyone older is automatically entitled to my 'respect.' And 'respect' too is not limited to forms of address - which is what I feel my culture focuses on - a superficial marker.

    'Instead of warring and disrespecting, perhaps the generations should try respecting one another and combining a century's worth of living into answers for ourselves and our world.' That really resonated with me!

    Thankfully the elders I know personally have managed/manage their lives quite well, but not everyone, as you have so rightly pointed out, ages the same way and/or at the same rate.

    Thanks for a humorous and insightful read on this issue.

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    1. Thank you for your thoughts and insights. I agree age doesn't necessarily warrant true respect. Around here when folks say "respect your elders" they generally mean to use your manners and treat them with courtesy.

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  5. I handle money better now than I did twenty years ago, that's for sure.
    Some people won't try new technology, others embrace it. That's not age - that's just people in general. My parents are very tech savvy. I hope I keep up with things as well as they have.

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    1. I think also some technologies simply aren't useful to everyone. My sister is almost twenty years older than me. She loves texting, taking pictures and sharing with her cell phone. Yet, she has no need of or desire for her own computer.

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  6. Ageism boils my blood, too. My absolute very favorite group of people are the elderly. It has always been that way. They have so much to offer, so much experience and wisdom. We should listen to them and give them respect. There is so much the young could learn from the old. My second favorite group is little ones, babies and toddlers. I have always had better relationships with people in those age groups that folks in my own age group, even as a child.

    The commercial that irritated me the absolute most was one implying that women in our age group needed to have plastic surgery so that we could get a job. Never mind that maybe we actually know how to do the job, but if we didn't look like the 20 year old, we weren't going to get it. That isn't fair at all. Why should I go get loaded with silicone in order to get a job that uses my mind just so I can compete with someone that hasn't even been potty-trained yet? OY!

    As for the older people not wanting to try something new...maybe they see how disconnected it has made many of the young and they want a real connection with people and nature around them. In many ways, the old ways are better. They can see that because they remember the old ways.

    Like Lou Holtz once said at a commencement ceremony, "I've been 21. You've never been 78."

    They can't know how it was because they didn't live it. We can see where things are going because we have.

    The latest new thing (new to me, anyway) was a reverse lens mount for my camera. I am a long way from mastering even how to get that thing on my camera.

    Ageism directed at me...DQ gave me a senior discount. I'm only 51! But, we laughed about that and enjoyed getting the ice cream at a cheaper price. I have seen it against David in the hospital, with the nurses talking down to him like he's a 5 year old. It makes me angry and doesn't improve his mood either.

    Valuing other generations. You know how I feel about the elderly and the very young. I have an extreme problem relating to the 20-something that are rude, disrespectful and don't know how to put on clothes. They aren't respecting or valuing themselves at all when they go around dressed like they are ready for a magazine spread and it is very hard for me to respect the level of immodesty out there these days. So, it isn't really their age that is the problem, but their lack of modesty. I've seen it in women my age, but the most in the 20-something age group.

    Have a blessed day!

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    1. Love the quote! - I don't even use the syrupy sweet baby voice with toddlers! Once they are walking and talking I speak to them like they are mini adults. I'm with you on despising that tone with adults. It makes me think of "Well bless your heart, Sugar" Southern Belle insults. - No matter the generation, there are always some it is impossible to respect.

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    2. It almost makes you wonder sometimes if some people want to be disrespected, since they make it so hard to respect them.

      Have a blessed day. :)

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  7. I've noticed for as long time that people age differently... even before the years started creeping up on me. I have a close relative who's extremely technologically challenged, for example.

    I'd say the most recent innovations which I learned to use were the computer/internet and cell phones. But I still use an older model flip phone.

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    1. I went to an Android for a while, then switched back to a basic to save money and due to service issues in my area.

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  8. I find that with tech it goes for all ages in a way. Some like to try new things, some don't. Money? My grandparents are from the Depression. They ALWAYS managed their money (or what they had at the time), well. Better than some kids today.

    As for losing things. Since ditching 95 percent of my stuff, it's rare that anything gets lost.

    Have a yummy day and boogie boogie.

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  9. It is so funny, when I was younger, I thought that older people have more value, now that I am a senior citizen, it seems like younger ones have mastered many more things than I did. LOL

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    1. Changing perspective. Most likely, some of both is true and depends quite a bit on the individual.

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  10. I have a particular problem with the finances aspect since they no longer teach kids in high school home economics, which they did when I was going to school. No longer are there classes that teach you how to balance a checkbook or make a budget! That makes me so mad. As for the rest, yes, I've driven past my stop and forgotten where I put things but I enjoy learning new things about computers and phones. Nice post, Barbara!
    Janet
    Man, It’s May

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    1. Thanks, Janet! I think some high schools do include "life" skills, as they call them. My daughter did get many things in pieces from her classes, budgeting and planning a wedding, writing a resume, etc. It is a sad shame for the ones who don't get it, especially if they don't have family that are involved and willing to show them, or if they refuse to be shown. Thanks for the compliment!

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  11. I always believed that with old age comes wisdom, knowledge, expertise and the experience that is so very helpful to be shared with the younger generation. I feel old people are smarter in dealing with challenges and are more confident about their journey... agree it varies from person to person and we cannot judge everyone in the same way.. its a thoughtful post !

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    1. I think too many don't see the value in what can be learned as the world is moving and changing so fast, they don't see the relevance. Problem I see with that, is what if drastic things happen and one can't rely on all these marvelous advances? And what of repeating the mistakes of the past? Thanks for the compliment!

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  12. I laughed when I read this cause I just had a conversation with someone about driving with kids in the car and missing a turn. Fortunately, my kids were paying attention and would just ask me where I thought I was going, lol. As for the way some folks treat older people, I hate it when someone assumes that I cannot get out of a chair without help or can't pick up something I dropped.

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    1. Glad I made you laugh! Cute story with the kids. Good point about the physical abilities side of things! Some are blessed to live their whole lives agile and strong.

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  13. That commercial is certainly insulting. I agree that there are many, many elderly people who are still very with it - able to handle their money and excited about learning new things. All older people are not created equally (nor are all younger people!), but both tend to be held up to stereotyping. My kids point out that our generation's complaints about theirs - all the selfie-taking, video-gaming, etc. - are similar to any generation's complaints about the next one. There's some truth in that. I agree with you - perhaps it's time each generation respected those that come before and after, as well as their own.

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    1. Your kids make an excellent point! My daddy taught me to evaluate people on a one to one basis. There is way too much generalization and judging by appearances these days.

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  14. I feel ageism more since I retired. Without a job, you are out of the loop. The fact that a job defines you is humbling.

    When I retired, I attended a health club. I decided the women who aged naturally looked better than the well preserved. So it helped me make a decision to age naturally and not fight it. We all have to make that decision. My big motivation for trying to look younger is to avoid ageism.

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    1. All I do to "fight" signs of aging is to die my hair. And that I do only for me.

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  15. I guess people do sort of judge me by age but since they think I'm actually younger than I look, it still seems people think I can't do certain things which is probably true since I'm not as smart as I think I am.

    I value everyone individually so generation gaps didn't matter but sometimes it really is a problem. I guess not everyone is well educated enough to know not to judge people by age.

    have a lovely day.

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    1. Not certain that education has anything to do with ones attitudes toward ages. I know for me, my father taught me to judge and value people individually for who they are: not education, not age, not position.

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  16. I definitely think older people are better at managing money. They're better at a lot of things, because they have more experience. And just because you're older, doesn't mean you can't do things. I just saw an article about an 80-year-old body builder/personal trainer. He's in way better shape than a lot of teenagers!

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  17. I can think of one time I gave my mother financial advice, and that was because she asked for it. She had saved quite a bit for retirement, but was trying to live off of her pension and was running out of money. I had to tell her it was okay to start spending the money she had saved for retirement because, hey, she was retired! She had a better idea of how to handle her finances than any of us did. Ditto my in-laws.

    I'm sure there are plenty of older people who need their children or someone else to help them manage their money -- I mean, I remember the whole Publisher's Clearing House debacle where seniors were buying thousands of dollars worth of magazines, thinking it gave them an almost certain chance of winning the big prize. At the same time, whose job is it to decide that?

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    1. The thing that makes most seniors vulnerable to scams is that they come from a time when things usually were what they appeared to be. They tend to trust people to be honest and to keep their word. Unfortunately, these beautiful qualities make them prey for the wolves of this world.

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  18. The older we are, the better we are. So ageism is just silly to me.

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    1. Like your attitude, Chrys! Like a fine wine, eh? πŸ˜‰

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  19. Barbara,

    DH and I often roll our eyes because we more hip when it comes to technology than the the younger generation who's supposed to know how to do better. Tell me when does a younger person know how to spend money? Sure some people are more practical minded but these are few compared to the mass. Learning how to deal with ones money takes years to master for many but once you get the grasp of things you never want to find yourself floundering in a sea of debt or not being prepared for an emergency. I wished we had learn these things when we were younger quicker so we'd be better off now with retirement ten years away. We wonder at times if DH can leave work then because of mistakes and misfortune in our early years. Older people are smarter than kids give them credit and like you pointed out the older you get the more selective you are about what you choice to experience. Have a blessed day!

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    1. And oh how you wish you could help the young avoid the same pitfalls, but so few truly listen.

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  20. Great post, Barbara. Ageism really bothers me, probably because I'm getting older! As a woman, my stock bottomed out when I hit 30, or so this society would love me to believe.

    I'm surrounded by older women who have smartphones, laptops, and tablets. My own mother, who's in her seventies, has all of those things, and she knows more about the newest music and movies than I do.

    People really need to get over this idea that only the young are valuable. Who on earth do they think young people learn stuff from?

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    1. Great point! What would happen if we just stopped teaching them? LOL

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  21. Experience makes the man perfect:)

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  22. This is definitely a sad reality of our society today, there is little value placed on elders and being thought of as incompetent has become the rule. I have experienced ageism in the workplace, often being old enough to be a grandparent to my coworkers. Some were respectful and fun to work with, others were critical, and loved to ridicule and sabotage. I had one person tell me straight out "Your problem is that you are OLD", as if it were a dirty word, this because I adhere to old school values when it comes to how one conducts themselves on the job. A cellphone in your face all eight hours is not acceptable! We seniors as a rule handle our money much more carefully through experience and also by necessity since we live on fixed incomes that don't begin to go far enough. I love learning new things, and enjoy the latest technology advances, no one is ever too old to learn. I also know some young people who are awesome and our hope for the future!

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    1. Me, too! Just saw a number of them graduate high school Friday night. πŸ˜‰

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  23. Your daughter is beautiful and that was a thoughtful thing for Pete and you to do to show her how proud you are of her. I guess my favorite graduation memory is when I was about seven and a neighbor got her hope chest and gifts from people. I couldn't wait to go to high school and graduate.

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    1. Thank you, Paula! That's a cute memory in that what you saw her experience made you want to experience it, too.

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So glad you stopped by! Come 'round any time. ~ Barbara

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