On Dating and Love

If love is a battlefield, dating has many casualties.  I have a 17 year old son, Bubba.  And I read a young woman's private journal and comment there.  Things from both have been spinning around in my head for some time.  For what it is worth, with Valentine's Day at hand, I'm going to share my thoughts on some of what I see and hear.

It seems that the teens in our local school district have adopted a policy that constricts their ability to get to know a variety of people and really explore what they like, enjoy and admire in another.  If you ask someone out, you are "going together".  One date and you are committed.  Only way to go out with or do something with someone else is to "break up".   I suppose this metamorphosis occurred to try to be safe in a world of rampant sexual diseases.  I don't know.  But it is sad. 

These young people are setting themselves up to hurt and betray one another.  They are missing out on one of the most thrilling parts of youth and being single.  To them, wherever they live, I recommend you abandon this nonsense and try another approach.
 
Go to the movies with Diane on Monday.  Take Sarah to the game on Friday.  Spend Sunday afternoon at the park with Chuck.  Boys, ask any girl who interests you in any way on a date.  Girls, accept all invitations from acceptable young men.  If one of these people really capture your interest and touch your heart after a dozen or so dates over time, then if you want to try some exclusivity, fine.  It's good practice for later relationships.
 
And the next part arises out of what I see and hear these young girls doing.  They repeatedly sell themselves short!  I realize there is a lot of competition out there, but if you win a guy by lowering your standards or cheapening your own value....what have you gained?  And if this is how you got the guy, how long do you really think you'll hold his interest?

Twenty-three years ago, I was in many ways where you are.  I know that now it seems the things you want will never come.  And I know it sounds crazy, but the best way to go is just to get on with living the life you have.  Find things you enjoy.  Do them.  Be yourself.  Pray for God to prepare the man He would put in your life.  Don't go looking for him, but don't withdraw into a cocoon either. When we actively look for a mate, we actually start to try to make everyone we spend a little time with into the love of our life.

Many of the old ways are still the best ways!!! Man's character has not changed, only the times.  A man needs to feel he has worked for you, won you. And that you were worth winning.

Don't call him in the beginning unless you have to, to be courteous and tell him plans have changed or something.

Don't invite him out unless it is something he cannot invite you to.....like a company party, etc.

Don't drive all over meeting him places or picking him up.  Make him come and get you and don't go out to a honking horn!  He should always come to your door.

Never, ever pay a guy or boyfriend's bills, pay for the date or buy him things for no occasion.  It attracts freeloaders, gigolos and bums.

After you have been in a long-term steady relationship you can begin to do some of these things.....but don't be extravagant.  Keep it simple.  Extravagance can come after you're engaged. 

We all crave connection and relationships of all various sorts.  That's how God designed us.  He gives us all family, and that fills the void to one point or another depending on the family we are given.  And as we go along we find friends and acquaintances and that fills another little piece.  But at some point in time, we crave, we need more!  That is so that we will search for God and come to Him for THAT relationship.  If we do, and we put our relationship with Him FIRST it will do much to heal, direct, and grow the relationships we already have with family and friends.  It will bring new relationships with other Christians in our lives.  All of this works to make us more whole and complete so that we can have that SPECIAL relationship with someone of the opposite sex. Now quite often we get all of this out of sync, out of order.  And it causes us pains, heartaches and disappointments.  But the wonderful thing is it is never too late to loosen the harness and put the horse in front of the cart, so to speak.

Tags: dating, young love

True Love

This entry is dedicated to Emily.  And to all the Emily's who have ever been hurt, betrayed, abused, used, or misled by one who claimed to love them.  As the world celebrates romantic love for Valentine's Day, stop and ponder what True Love is.

                

I Corinthians 13:4-8 The Bible's Definition of Love Today's text needs no explaination from me.....only the Holy Spirit to lead you and guide you into full understanding and application. Read these verses in as many translations as possible! This is true love. Agape love. No one will never be able to fully love you this way and you will never be able to fully love in this way, either. But as I Corinthians 14:1 states, "Let love be your greatest aim!" We must aspire to it, but we will never fully attain it until our sanctification is complete in Heaven. I am posting a Paraphase of these verses by me, that I drew from several sources. God Bless you with real and abiding love!

Love bears pains and trails calmly and without complaint. It is disposed to be helpful and agreeable. Love is never suspicious, distrustful or apprehensive. Love is never begrudging of what another has. Love does not call attention to oneself, exaggerate or brag. Love is not arrogant or over-bearing. It does not feel superior to others. Love is not blatantly proud. Love is never excessively or exclusively concerned with oneself without regard to others. Love is never offensive, discourteous, vulgar or abrupt. Love does not insist upon or require it's own way. Love is not quickly annoyed or angered. Love does not take offense on slight provocation. Love has no deep seated resentment, nor abides ill will. Love will hardly pay attention, nor comment, when it's rights are violated or it is treated unfairly. Love is never glad about another's rights being violated or them being treated unfairly. It is not glad when hurt is inflicted upon someone. But love rejoices when sincerity abounds and lives align with God's Will! If you love someone, you will be faithful and unswerving no matter what the cost. You will always believe in him, accepting trustfully, convinced of his good and worth. You will always think the best of him, and look forward to the best for him. You will always stand you ground to protect and shield them, maintianing your belief in the face of argument or hostile criticism.

Love is not a feeling, but a choice that leads to action! Love is not a noun, but a verb! It is in the doing. Love is continous and ongoing!

Graphics by Dover.

Tags: Valentines Day, True Love, I Corinthians 13

Tags: BlogPlugs

God's Coffee

Forwarded to me by a dear lady and friend, Marylynn. 

God's Coffee

 

A group of alumni, highly established in their careers, got together to visit their old university professor. Conversation soon turned into complaints about stress in work and life.

 

Offering his guests coffee, the professor went to the kitchen and returned with a large pot of coffee and an assortment of cups - porcelain, plastic, glass, crystal, some plain looking, some expensive, some exquisite - telling them to help themselves to the coffee.

 

When all the students had a cup of coffee in hand, the professor said: "If you noticed, all the nice looking expensive cups were taken up, leaving behind the plain and cheap ones.  While it is normal for you to want only the best for yourselves, that is the source of your problems and stress.

Be assured that the cup itself adds no quality to the coffee. In most cases it is just more expensive and in some cases even hides what we drink.  What all of you really wanted was coffee, not the cup, but you consciously went for the best cups... And then you began eyeing each other's cups.

 

Now consider this: Life is the coffee; the jobs, money and position in society are the cups. They are just tools to hold and contain Life, and the type of cup we have does not define, nor change the quality of Life we live.

Sometimes, by concentrating only onthe cup, we fail to enjoy the coffee God has provided us."

 

God brews the coffee, not the cups.......... Enjoy your coffee!

"The happiest people don't have the best of everything. They just make the best of everything."

 

Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly. Leave the rest to God.

 

Tags: coffee, java

A Success!

Remember when I posted a link and asked you all to go and sign a card the Veterans of Foreign Wars were going to deliver to wounded soldiers?  Well I received this note recently:

Barbara, VFW Friends of Freedom made the 2006 holidays a little brighter for wounded troops at Brooke Army Medical Center (BAMC), Fort Sam Houston, TX. On December 22, 2006, Mike Espinola, Sr., District 5 Commander, VFW Department of Texas and its Ladies Auxiliary President, Dolly Edwards, presented troops at BAMC a Christmas card signed by over 20,000 caring patriots.
We hope the New Year is off to a great start for you and your family. And we want you to know how important your support of America’s troops and veterans really is. Without your commitment, we couldn’t "be there" for our heroes.  Thank you for all you do! We’re so glad we can count on you to keep our country’s troops and veterans in your heart year after year.

                                       

To Donate or become a Supporter visit VFW Website.

Tags: VFW

Truth in Advertising?

 

What I wouldn't give if real truth in advertising were required!  It might would stay many from ever being a jenny's better half.  But then, there'd still be the masses who think "That's not me."

 

I'm sorry.  Forgot to tell you this is a rant about alcohol.  I'm sick and tired of watching people I know and love swirl down the toilet bowl of life.  I'm worn from seeing them slap each other on the backs as they laugh and slide straight into hell on earth.  And I'm especially sick of their hell bleeding over into my little slice of paradise.

 

The advertisements show beautiful people, smiling, laughing, hooking up; drinking until they just get a blush of gaiety about them.  Then they warn you to drink responsibly and never drive drunk.  They have obviously never met a drunk person.  Albeit some will drink to a drunken state quite on purpose.  Many even.  But there are also many who drink, enjoying themselves and then just sort of find, BAM! - I'm drunk.  And Hollywood has done it's fair share of promoting drunks as cute, funny, adorable critters who quietly fall asleep when given the chance.  They also never met a drunk.

 

Well, I've been married into the work hard, play harder mentality that dominates these woods for soon 23 years.  And I've lived in the heart of them for the past 9 years.  And I'm here to tell you what you'd see if advertising were true.

 

• You'd see men and women chugging down a half a case or more a piece in one evening. 
• You'd see best friends, brothers and even sisters come to blows with one another over some perceived (or misconceived rather) wrong they felt was inflicted upon them. 
• You'd see people who never even thought of hitting the road until after they were inebriated.
• You'd know that a struggle to keep keys away from one could be just as deadly as allowing one to drive.
• You'd see ladies puke all over their newest boots and splatter all over their Rocky Mountain jeans.
• You'd find men that floated away in a sea of their own piss as they slept in their drunken stupor.
• You'd know that women and children were pulled, pushed or flat out hit for asking a question, not asking a question, being up at that time, not being up at that time.
• There would be fools tearing up their own possessions in fits of drunken rage.
• You'd find missed work days so they could recuperate from their most recent self inflicted illness.
• You'd hear them wonder why their health was failing and their relationships never seemed to last.
• You see families suffer financially while stiff fines and penalties were paid for the household drunk. 
• Once the tabs start popping, nothing matters except that there is another can in the cooler and that they realize they are low before the "beer store" closes.

 

These are generalities.  They are taken from real stories and experiences.  Some of which would curl your hair. 

 

Come on Miller Lite, Bud, Coors and the rest!  I dare you.  I double dog dare you to tell the truth!!!!!!  

 

Who wants a beer?

Barbara

Tags: Miller Lite, advertising, drunkeness

Redneck Technology Has Invaded the O. R.

Waiting for the bus the other morning, Bubba and I caught a radio news cast.  Seems there was a surgeon somewhere who had someone all opened up on the operating table who was to get a titanium rod put in their neck/back.  But, unfortunately there was no rod.  The doctor faced an impossible situation.  Can't leave the person like this.  So he substituted a screwdriver in the place of the rod.  Very upsetting and unsettling news, especially to the patient and the family.  Who ever was in charge of having the rods ready must be in deep doo-doo. 

 

But sitting there it just struck me as hilariously funny.  Much too similar to what I see every day here on the hill in Caneyhead.  Bubba thought his giggling mama had surely stripped a gear.  So I explained:

 

Can't you just see it?!  The doctor asks for the rod.  He's told there is no rod.   The doctor curses and swears.  Then he tells them to give him maintenance on the intercom.  He says, "I need a screwdriver up in the O. R. - STAT!!  And don't send me one of the dollar bin ones.....I need a lifetime warranty!  Make it a Craftsman."   

 

And then of course I'm thinking once he started along these lines, surely he'd stick to protocol.   That means he must of closed not with surgical thread, but with a roll of silver duct tape.  And once the patient was in recovery, he surely explained he'd have a 90 day warranty on labor, unless he cared to purchase the extended protection plan for $49.99 that would give him 24 months of solid protection and quarterly maintenance checks. 

 

On to other odd things.  Bubba failed to ride the bus home with his sister the other day.  Even thoughhe knew I'd be late.  And I don't like her home alone.  But he had a good reason.  He and a buddy went to Wally World after school and bought a couple of cell phones on a family plan.  Real nice looking little phone.  Didn't know 17 year olds could sign contracts.  Don't have to pay anything until March.  Of course they are both unemployed.  Makes perfect sense.  ?!?!?@#!#!$!%!^!>!<!

 

So, both I and Daddy oohed and awed over his phone and told him how he'd just screwed up his life.  Or probably at least his credit.  Of course he was quick to point out how easily he can make $50 or more in a day.  And we quickly pointed out how completely he procrastinates at every turn. 

 

Later that evening hubby was on the couch and I was sitting nearby.  Hubby says, "What's that strange light I see floating around in the back yard?"  I get up and walk over to the window.  It's bright blue.  "Oh, that's Bubba walking around out there with his cell phone open."  So Pete asks what he's doing out there in the cold instead of being in his room.  "Well, it won't pick up in his room.  Can't get a signal anywhere in the house.  And only a spot or two in the yard."  Pete just shakes his head, with that look like "can he really be mine?"

 

Soon the phone rings in the house.  Some girl asking for Bubba.  "He's outside on his cell phone.  And don't call this house after 9:00 PM."  Bubba comes in soon.  I told him about the call.  He said, "Yeah, I was talking to her and stepped in a dead spot and lost my connection.  I tried to call her right back but her phone was busy."  Yeah, she was talking to me!  

 

Any way.  His phone can take pictures.  Soon as we figure out if he can email them to mama without it costing us money, I'll share some with you.  He got a cute picture of Bug's little miniature goat, RosaBell.   He showed it to some friends at school. They were cracking up.  Seems everyone thinks it is odd that her goat stays on a leash in the yard. 

 

And then last night Bug wanted to color on the PC.  Went to web sight with a tiny little pad and a palette of colors.  She whined it was too small.  So I put her in Microsoft Paint.  Never use it.  Don't understand it.  Click, click.  "oh, yeah!"  Click, click.  "It's just like at school in computer lab, only not as easy to use."  Click, click.  Here's the result:     

 

 

Okay, beam me up Scottie! 

Tags: surgery, cell phones, mspaint

At It Again!

  I can't believe it has been twenty days since I posted!!  Been working more.  Had a sick husband.  Have a teenage son who ties up the phone for hours.  So my PC time has been rather limited.  But today is slow and easy.  And today I have been reading and thinking again.  We all know what a dangerous combination that is! 

This is another joke from ArcaMax.  Hope it blesses you as it blessed me.

Useless in the Parking Lot

A woman was at work when she received a phone call that her daughter was very sick with a fever. She left her work and stopped by the pharmacy to get some medication for her daughter.

When returning to her car she found that she had locked her keys in the car. She was in a hurry to get home to her sick daughter.

She didn't know what to do, so she called her home and told the baby sitter what had happened and that she did not know what to do. The baby sitter told her that her daughter was getting worse.

She said, "You might find a coat hanger and use that to open the door."

The woman looked around and found an old rusty coat hanger that had been thrown down on the ground, possibly by someone else who at some time or other had locked their keys in their car.

Then she looked at the hanger and said, "I don't know how to use this."

So she bowed her head and asked God to send her some help. Within five minutes an old rusty car pulled up, with a dirty, greasy, bearded man who was wearing an old biker skull rag on his head.

The woman thought, "This is what you sent to help me?" But, she was desperate, so she was also very thankful.

The man got out of his car and asked her if he could help. She said, "Yes, my daughter is very sick. I stopped to get her some medication and I locked my keys in my car. I must get home to her. Please, can you use this hanger to unlock my car?"

He said, "Sure". He walked over to the car, and in less than one minute the car was opened.

She hugged the man and through her tears she said, "Thank you so much! You are a very nice man."

The man replied, "Lady, I am not a nice man. I just got out of prison today. I was in prison for car theft and have only been out for about an hour."

The woman hugged the man again and with sobbing tears cried out loud, "Oh, Thank you God! You even sent me a Professional!"

 

Oh, sure, it's a joke.  But it's another prime example of how God really works.  This woman may have pictured in her mind as she prayed God sending a police car or a wrecker/lock service.  We all tend to pray with expectations of how God will/may answer.  And if we aren't careful, we'll limit the vastness of His response with our own prayers!  Or we will be so focused on looking for the answer we expect that we will won't see His response when it comes.

 

This woman is to be commended on both counts.  First, she prayed for help.  She didn't specify, qualify or limit the help in her prayer.  And secondly, when the help came, though surprised, she accepted it and recognized it for what it was.

 

As to the man....sounds as if he had no idea he was being used of God.  And many times we don't realize we are being used of God.  God is Lord over all.  The wicked.  The pure.  The lost.  The saved.  Some acknowledge Him and some don't....but that doesn't change the fact that He is Lord. 

 

The man didn't view himself as nice.  He didn't feel worthy.  Worthy of her praise.  Worthy to be used of God.  Are you like the man in some respect?  Do you doubt that God can use you?  Do you think you have done things that disqualify you from being used of God?  Think again! 

 

God knows where you have been and what you have done.  And like the man in the joke, even if you have done things that were wrong, sinful things, God can use you and your experience to help someone else.  No one knows better how to help someone out of a pit then one who has been in that pit.  Don't limit God's use of you!  God does work all things together for the good of those who love Him!

Tags: jokes, prayer