Chuckles for Women

My friend, Monica, passed these "Chuckles" to me and I wanted to pass them on to you.

Woman's Revenge :  "Cash, check or charge?" I asked after folding the woman's items she wished to purchase.  As she fumbled for her wallet I noticed a remote control to a TV in her purse.  "So, do you always carry your TV remote?" I asked.  "No," she replied, "but my husband refused to come shopping with me and I figured this was the most evil thing I could do to him legally."

A Man's Perspective on Understanding Women:  I know I am not going to understand women.  How can you take boiling wax, pour it onto your upper thigh, rip the hair out by the root ......and still be afriad of a spider?!

Marriage Seminar:  While attending a marriage seminar dealing with communication, Tom and his wife, Grace, listened to the instructor, "It is essential that husbands and wives know the things that are important to each other."  He addressed the men "Can you describe your wive's favorite flower?"  Tom leaned over, touched his wife's arm gently and whispered, "It's Pillsbury, isn't it?"     The rest of the story gets rather ugly, so I'll stop right here.

Words:  The husband read an article to his wife about how many words a woman uses each day......30,000 to a man's 15,000.   The wife replied, "The reason has to be because we have to repeat everything to men."  The husband then turned to his wife and asked, "What?"

Creation:  A man said to his wife one day, "I don't know how you can be so stupid and so beautiful at the same time."  To which the wife responded, "Allow me to explain, God made me beautiful so you would be attracted to me.......He made me stupid so I would be attracted to you!"

Who Brews?:  A man and his wife were having an argument about who should brew the coffee each morning.  The wife said, "You should do it because you get up first and then we won't have to wait so long to get our coffee."  The husband said, "You are in charge of cooking so you should do it.  I can wait for my coffee."  To which the wife replied, "No you should do it.  Besides, it is in the Bible that the man should do the coffee!"   The husband says, "I can't believe that!  Show me."  So she fetched the Bible, opened it to the New Testament and showed him on top of several pages where it indeed says,  "HEBREWS".

Silent Treatment:  A man and his wife were having some problems and giving each other the silent treatment.  Suddenly, the man realized that he would need his wife to wake him the next day at 5:00a.m. for an early morning business flight.  Not wanting to be the first to break the silence, and lose, he wrote on a piece of paper, "Please wake me at 5a.m." and let it where he knew she would find it. The next morning the man woke up at 9:00a.m. only to realize he had missed his flight!  Furious, he was about to go and see why his wife had not awakened him, when he noticed a piece of paper by the bed that read, "It's 5:00a.m.......wake up!"   Men are not equipped for these kinds of contests.

I hope you all enjoyed the humor.  If there is anyone who needs a good sense of humor to get thru her days it has to be Terra.......mother to eight! Yes, eight children.  And a hubby.  And a full time job!  (Or should I say two full time jobs?)  You can attempt to keep up with her life in Bakersfield, CA at her journal, Eight is Enough.  (I think I may have reached that conclusion at six, or four or even two!  lol)  Good thing this gal loves to cook.

 I pray that our look into words and anger is a benefit to you, I know looking into these verses in the Word is a definate help to me.  "See, the Lord comes from afar, aflame with wrath, surrounded by thick rising smoke.  His lips are filled with fury; his words consume like fire.  His wrath pours out like floods upon them all, to sweep them all away."  Isaiah 30:27 & 28, TLB.  So, if we are angry, is it because someone has sinned against us?  Or is it we who sin in our anger?  Or both?  But all sin is ultimately against God Himself.  So if we are going to talk about a right to be angry, who but God has that right?  And how often has He relinquished that right in order to give you mercy and forgiveness instead of wrath?  If He is our Holy Example let us follow after mercy and seek and give forgiveness.