Suppose I jumped into the A-Z Challenge without much thought or reflection. I had seen where my friend Betty had posted about planing to participate in it. The idea stuck in my head. I was just getting back to blogging, wanting to settle back down to posting on a regular basis. Finally the thought formed that it'd be a great way to get myself back into the "habit" of turning to my blog to express myself again. And it really didn't seem so awfully hard.
I tried to direct my entries toward people and places from my life. A couple of entries strayed a little, but overall I stuck to the theme. Some decent writing. Not necessarily the most read, the most commented on, or even my personal favorites. But overall, I'm happy with the result. Posts are a little like children. Can be hard to say you love one more than another. But I think the two that are closest to my heart are the two that have lifelong themes embedded into them: B is for Dam B and R is for Radio. It reminds me of the continuity of the past and the present. That though things and people or gone or changed, they are not forgotten. Reassuring for a woman who had lost her mama, her daddy, every grandparent and one of two sisters by the time she was twenty-three.
Perhaps that is why this experience became cathartic for me. Yesterday afternoon as I was washing dishes, and after I had chided Bug for taking her daddy for granted, I began to cry. Cry for the teenager that lost her biggest fan and champion. Cry for the college student that couldn't believe the nymph in her live was gone. Cry for the young woman who eloped because a wedding without mama and daddy would have made a joyous day a sad occasion. I grieved for the first time in a very long time not for them - they are together in Heaven with our Lord & Savior - but for me. For me who hasn't gotten to hear their voice, feel their touch, enjoy their company for almost thirty years.
I didn't know this post was going here. I seldom know which direction a post will take. I formulate an idea, and then I let my heart and fingers take over. Try to stay out of their way with things like grammar and storylines and crap that English teachers shove down your throats but yield terse, confined results. No offense to teachers. One must first learn conformity to understand how not to conform.
Yes, I do not regret in one bit taking part in this challenge. And I would gladly participate again. I would recommend it.