Got an email the other day from my friend and ex-neighbor, Lloyd. A joke I found absolutely hilarious. And I'll tell you why just as soon as I share it with you:
If you had purchased $1,000 of AIG stock one year ago, you would have $42 left. With Lehman, you would have $6.60 left. With Fannie or Freddie, you would have less than $5 left. But if you had purchased$1,000 worth of beer one year ago, drank all of the beer, then turned in the cans for the aluminum recycling REFUND, you would have had $214. Based on the above, the best current investment advice is to drink heavily and recycle. It's called the 401-Keg!
Now, I come from a stiff Baptist heritage and in no way condone or advocate the drinking of beer or other alcohol. To borrow a line from Larry the Cable guy, "I don't care who you are, that's funny!"
It appeals to me because I have known so many po' boys who would collect, scrape and save every can they could to haul in when the price was up. I have also know the pressed suit types that would sneer at the thought of such a thing. Now, comes full circle around in the joke that the best and wisest investment they could of made was collecting and hauling! I don't know that it actually all works out financially or not, but it is poetic.
Are we headed for a real depression along the lines of the Great Depression? I can't say. But I can pass on some tips I picked up from living with a mama who had survived it and the rationing of WWII.
Here's few to get you started as the finances begin to choke-hold:
- Mold isn't necessarily the end of it. If bread has the white mold, pinch it off and toast the bread. If cheese has some of that whitish or bluish stuff, simply cut it off and proceed.
- Substitute hamburger everywhere you possibly can for other cuts of beef and use tuna instead of salmon.
- Always save leftovers! If they won't eat them, stop cooking. When they get hungry enough they will.
- Stale cereal? Place on cookie sheet and toast in oven just a little to give it back it's crunch.
- Save every bread sack, twisty tie and rubber band that ever comes your way. Cuts down on the number of baggies you have to buy.
- Soap never gets too small. Save pieces and then get them all wet and mushy when you have a handful and press together. Voila! A new bar.
- Out of buttermilk? Use sweet milk with a tablespoon of vinegar added to curdle it to substitute in recipes.
- Stock up on staples like baking soda, flour, meal and such and make things from scratch.
- Strain and save all grease.
- Don't forget about evaporated milk! Richer flavor to recipes and can dilute with half water.
Well, that should get you started and thinking in the right vein. Until next time, God bless and keep you.