Saturday, January 27, 2007

Redneck Technology Has Invaded the O. R.

Waiting for the bus the other morning, Bubba and I caught a radio news cast.  Seems there was a surgeon somewhere who had someone all opened up on the operating table who was to get a titanium rod put in their neck/back.  But, unfortunately there was no rod.  The doctor faced an impossible situation.  Can't leave the person like this.  So he substituted a screwdriver in the place of the rod.  Very upsetting and unsettling news, especially to the patient and the family.  Who ever was in charge of having the rods ready must be in deep doo-doo. 
 
But sitting there it just struck me as hilariously funny.  Much too similar to what I see every day here on the hill in Caneyhead.  Bubba thought his giggling mama had surely stripped a gear.  So I explained:
 
Can't you just see it?!  The doctor asks for the rod.  He's told there is no rod.   The doctor curses and swears.  Then he tells them to give him maintenance on the intercom.  He says, "I need a screwdriver up in the O. R. - STAT!!  And don't send me one of the dollar bin ones.....I need a lifetime warranty!  Make it a Craftsman."   
 
And then of course I'm thinking once he started along these lines, surely he'd stick to protocol.   That means he must of closed not with surgical thread, but with a roll of silver duct tape.  And once the patient was in recovery, he surely explained he'd have a 90 day warranty on labor, unless he cared to purchase the extended protection plan for $49.99 that would give him 24 months of solid protection and quarterly maintenance checks. 
 
On to other odd things.  Bubba failed to ride the bus home with his sister the other day.  Even thoughhe knew I'd be late.  And I don't like her home alone.  But he had a good reason.  He and a buddy went to Wally World after school and bought a couple of cell phones on a family plan.  Real nice looking little phone.  Didn't know 17 year olds could sign contracts.  Don't have to pay anything until March.  Of course they are both unemployed.  Makes perfect sense.  ?!?!?@#!#!$!%!^!>!<!
 
So, both I and Daddy oohed and awed over his phone and told him how he'd just screwed up his life.  Or probably at least his credit.  Of course he was quick to point out how easily he can make $50 or more in a day.  And we quickly pointed out how completely he procrastinates at every turn. 
 
Later that evening hubby was on the couch and I was sitting nearby.  Hubby says, "What's that strange light I see floating around in the back yard?"  I get up and walk over to the window.  It's bright blue.  "Oh, that's Bubba walking around out there with his cell phone open."  So Pete asks what he's doing out there in the cold instead of being in his room.  "Well, it won't pick up in his room.  Can't get a signal anywhere in the house.  And only a spot or two in the yard."  Pete just shakes his head, with that look like "can he really be mine?"
 
Soon the phone rings in the house.  Some girl asking for Bubba.  "He's outside on his cell phone.  And don't call this house after 9:00 PM."  Bubba comes in soon.  I told him about the call.  He said, "Yeah, I was talking to her and stepped in a dead spot and lost my connection.  I tried to call her right back but her phone was busy."  Yeah, she was talking to me!  
 
Any way.  His phone can take pictures.  Soon as we figure out if he can email them to mama without it costing us money, I'll share some with you.  He got a cute picture of Bug's little miniature goat, RosaBell.   He showed it to some friends at school. They were cracking up.  Seems everyone thinks it is odd that her goat stays on a leash in the yard. 
 
And then last night Bug wanted to color on the PC.  Went to web sight with a tiny little pad and a palette of colors.  She whined it was too small.  So I put her in Microsoft Paint.  Never use it.  Don't understand it.  Click, click.  "oh, yeah!"  Click, click.  "It's just like at school in computer lab, only not as easy to use."  Click, click.  Here's the result:     
 
 
Okay, beam me up Scottie! 

15 comments:

  1. If I would have to get a screwdriver I would want a Craftsman too. lol It amazes me what kids can get now days in the way of credit and John had trouble for ever getting a credit card because he doesn't have any credit. Not bad credit, just no credit. He also couldn't get a cell phone because he didn't have a credit card. This world is crazy but they know what they are doing, they are trying to get kids hooked because of their innocence. Funny entry though. Paula

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  2. I am always amazed at stories like this. It doesn't seem possible that our children can get credit so easily, along with everything else, but they can.
    Cute entry.
    Hugs, love & prayers,
    Barb- http://journals.aol.com/barbpinion/HEYLETSTALK

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  3. Loved this entry - so funny!  Your interpretation of what could have happened in surgery is something that I could see on TV - what is the name of that funny hospital program - can't think of it offhand.  Scary to think that our kids can sign contracts without us.  Thanks for sharing.  Made my day!  ~  Caroline  ~
    http://journals.aol.com/caromarls/ANewAdventure

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  4. A screwdriver - hmm, they're made of Vanadium, just as good I suppose lolol.
    Cellphones, every parent's nightmare. Not speaking from experience, but stories galore.

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  5.  I wonder if that was my doctor?  My neck has felt screwed up since surgery, LOL.  Funny about the cell phones.

               Julie

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  6. Odd story about the screwdriver. Don't know but on our plan to send a picture to someone from the phone is 35cents each. I don't know about the downloading of pictures since after I found out the cost of sending a single picture we opted out on getting one of those phones. It doesn't seem like it would cost anything just to download to your computer. I can't figure out how he got to get a phone and sign a contract at that age LOL. Helen

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  7. responding to Caroline's question about the name of the funny hospital program.. was she thinking of Scrubs, I wonder? That's really scary, about the titanium rod substitute... no wonder folks don't like going under. Especially regarding hardware that is being implanted. bea

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  8. I feel a lawsuit coming on {regarding the screwdriver}  LOL

    LORI

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  9. Dear Barbara
    Gee very sad...
    I'm so srry.
    hugs and take care
    love,nat

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  10. My hubby got a phone that takes pictures, and supposed to be able to send emails and stuff.   They charge 57 bucks a month, but they still haven't 'fixed' the problem of not being able to send the pictures or e mails!  I'm so mad I could spit- becasue we're wasting 57 bucks a month!!!  He gave me his old one- the day he did (for safetly reasons etc.) I went to get some minutes at wally world along with the groceries- then got in a car accident on the way home.  Only problem was, I didn't have the minutes on there yet and had to borrow the state trooper's phone!!!  Oh, the wonders of technology!!!  Funny story though!  Can ya hear me now?!  Love Carolyn :)

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  11. I can not believe that some fool doctor did that! That is insane.  And the cell phones?  I would have stormed in that store and gave em the riot act for having minors sign contracts like that...  I do not like cell phone companies!

    Kara :)

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  12. Love the cat Bug drew.  Are you for real, did a surgeon really put a screw driver in instead of a rod.  Glad I didn't read about this before my brain surgery.  What cha going to do about the cell phone, will that be in another story.  LOL

    Blessings to you,

    Marlene - A Poet's Point Of View
    http://journals.aol.com/mkolasa101/SweetNSimple

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  13. Hilarious!  I love your take on the missing rod story, and oh my, your son has his very own cell phone now that only picks up in certain spots in the back yard!  I can imagine our 17 year old doing, that, too!   And you're right -- Bug and Eler Beth do sound a lot alike!  I loved this entry!
    Lori
    http://journals.aol.com/helmswondermom/DustyPages

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  14. So he's now in, what, a 2 year contract probably, not a 1 year, and yet didn't even check the coverage range first?!  lol.   -- Robin

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So glad you stopped by! Come 'round any time. ~ Barbara

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