Redneck Technology Has Invaded the O. R.

Waiting for the bus the other morning, Bubba and I caught a radio news cast.  Seems there was a surgeon somewhere who had someone all opened up on the operating table who was to get a titanium rod put in their neck/back.  But, unfortunately there was no rod.  The doctor faced an impossible situation.  Can't leave the person like this.  So he substituted a screwdriver in the place of the rod.  Very upsetting and unsettling news, especially to the patient and the family.  Who ever was in charge of having the rods ready must be in deep doo-doo. 

 

But sitting there it just struck me as hilariously funny.  Much too similar to what I see every day here on the hill in Caneyhead.  Bubba thought his giggling mama had surely stripped a gear.  So I explained:

 

Can't you just see it?!  The doctor asks for the rod.  He's told there is no rod.   The doctor curses and swears.  Then he tells them to give him maintenance on the intercom.  He says, "I need a screwdriver up in the O. R. - STAT!!  And don't send me one of the dollar bin ones.....I need a lifetime warranty!  Make it a Craftsman."   

 

And then of course I'm thinking once he started along these lines, surely he'd stick to protocol.   That means he must of closed not with surgical thread, but with a roll of silver duct tape.  And once the patient was in recovery, he surely explained he'd have a 90 day warranty on labor, unless he cared to purchase the extended protection plan for $49.99 that would give him 24 months of solid protection and quarterly maintenance checks. 

 

On to other odd things.  Bubba failed to ride the bus home with his sister the other day.  Even thoughhe knew I'd be late.  And I don't like her home alone.  But he had a good reason.  He and a buddy went to Wally World after school and bought a couple of cell phones on a family plan.  Real nice looking little phone.  Didn't know 17 year olds could sign contracts.  Don't have to pay anything until March.  Of course they are both unemployed.  Makes perfect sense.  ?!?!?@#!#!$!%!^!>!<!

 

So, both I and Daddy oohed and awed over his phone and told him how he'd just screwed up his life.  Or probably at least his credit.  Of course he was quick to point out how easily he can make $50 or more in a day.  And we quickly pointed out how completely he procrastinates at every turn. 

 

Later that evening hubby was on the couch and I was sitting nearby.  Hubby says, "What's that strange light I see floating around in the back yard?"  I get up and walk over to the window.  It's bright blue.  "Oh, that's Bubba walking around out there with his cell phone open."  So Pete asks what he's doing out there in the cold instead of being in his room.  "Well, it won't pick up in his room.  Can't get a signal anywhere in the house.  And only a spot or two in the yard."  Pete just shakes his head, with that look like "can he really be mine?"

 

Soon the phone rings in the house.  Some girl asking for Bubba.  "He's outside on his cell phone.  And don't call this house after 9:00 PM."  Bubba comes in soon.  I told him about the call.  He said, "Yeah, I was talking to her and stepped in a dead spot and lost my connection.  I tried to call her right back but her phone was busy."  Yeah, she was talking to me!  

 

Any way.  His phone can take pictures.  Soon as we figure out if he can email them to mama without it costing us money, I'll share some with you.  He got a cute picture of Bug's little miniature goat, RosaBell.   He showed it to some friends at school. They were cracking up.  Seems everyone thinks it is odd that her goat stays on a leash in the yard. 

 

And then last night Bug wanted to color on the PC.  Went to web sight with a tiny little pad and a palette of colors.  She whined it was too small.  So I put her in Microsoft Paint.  Never use it.  Don't understand it.  Click, click.  "oh, yeah!"  Click, click.  "It's just like at school in computer lab, only not as easy to use."  Click, click.  Here's the result:     

 

 

Okay, beam me up Scottie! 

Tags: surgery, cell phones, mspaint