A Success!

Remember when I posted a link and asked you all to go and sign a card the Veterans of Foreign Wars were going to deliver to wounded soldiers?  Well I received this note recently:

Barbara, VFW Friends of Freedom made the 2006 holidays a little brighter for wounded troops at Brooke Army Medical Center (BAMC), Fort Sam Houston, TX. On December 22, 2006, Mike Espinola, Sr., District 5 Commander, VFW Department of Texas and its Ladies Auxiliary President, Dolly Edwards, presented troops at BAMC a Christmas card signed by over 20,000 caring patriots.
We hope the New Year is off to a great start for you and your family. And we want you to know how important your support of America’s troops and veterans really is. Without your commitment, we couldn’t "be there" for our heroes.  Thank you for all you do! We’re so glad we can count on you to keep our country’s troops and veterans in your heart year after year.

                                       

To Donate or become a Supporter visit VFW Website.

Tags: VFW

Truth in Advertising?

 

What I wouldn't give if real truth in advertising were required!  It might would stay many from ever being a jenny's better half.  But then, there'd still be the masses who think "That's not me."

 

I'm sorry.  Forgot to tell you this is a rant about alcohol.  I'm sick and tired of watching people I know and love swirl down the toilet bowl of life.  I'm worn from seeing them slap each other on the backs as they laugh and slide straight into hell on earth.  And I'm especially sick of their hell bleeding over into my little slice of paradise.

 

The advertisements show beautiful people, smiling, laughing, hooking up; drinking until they just get a blush of gaiety about them.  Then they warn you to drink responsibly and never drive drunk.  They have obviously never met a drunk person.  Albeit some will drink to a drunken state quite on purpose.  Many even.  But there are also many who drink, enjoying themselves and then just sort of find, BAM! - I'm drunk.  And Hollywood has done it's fair share of promoting drunks as cute, funny, adorable critters who quietly fall asleep when given the chance.  They also never met a drunk.

 

Well, I've been married into the work hard, play harder mentality that dominates these woods for soon 23 years.  And I've lived in the heart of them for the past 9 years.  And I'm here to tell you what you'd see if advertising were true.

 

• You'd see men and women chugging down a half a case or more a piece in one evening. 
• You'd see best friends, brothers and even sisters come to blows with one another over some perceived (or misconceived rather) wrong they felt was inflicted upon them. 
• You'd see people who never even thought of hitting the road until after they were inebriated.
• You'd know that a struggle to keep keys away from one could be just as deadly as allowing one to drive.
• You'd see ladies puke all over their newest boots and splatter all over their Rocky Mountain jeans.
• You'd find men that floated away in a sea of their own piss as they slept in their drunken stupor.
• You'd know that women and children were pulled, pushed or flat out hit for asking a question, not asking a question, being up at that time, not being up at that time.
• There would be fools tearing up their own possessions in fits of drunken rage.
• You'd find missed work days so they could recuperate from their most recent self inflicted illness.
• You'd hear them wonder why their health was failing and their relationships never seemed to last.
• You see families suffer financially while stiff fines and penalties were paid for the household drunk. 
• Once the tabs start popping, nothing matters except that there is another can in the cooler and that they realize they are low before the "beer store" closes.

 

These are generalities.  They are taken from real stories and experiences.  Some of which would curl your hair. 

 

Come on Miller Lite, Bud, Coors and the rest!  I dare you.  I double dog dare you to tell the truth!!!!!!  

 

Who wants a beer?

Barbara

Tags: Miller Lite, advertising, drunkeness

Redneck Technology Has Invaded the O. R.

Waiting for the bus the other morning, Bubba and I caught a radio news cast.  Seems there was a surgeon somewhere who had someone all opened up on the operating table who was to get a titanium rod put in their neck/back.  But, unfortunately there was no rod.  The doctor faced an impossible situation.  Can't leave the person like this.  So he substituted a screwdriver in the place of the rod.  Very upsetting and unsettling news, especially to the patient and the family.  Who ever was in charge of having the rods ready must be in deep doo-doo. 

 

But sitting there it just struck me as hilariously funny.  Much too similar to what I see every day here on the hill in Caneyhead.  Bubba thought his giggling mama had surely stripped a gear.  So I explained:

 

Can't you just see it?!  The doctor asks for the rod.  He's told there is no rod.   The doctor curses and swears.  Then he tells them to give him maintenance on the intercom.  He says, "I need a screwdriver up in the O. R. - STAT!!  And don't send me one of the dollar bin ones.....I need a lifetime warranty!  Make it a Craftsman."   

 

And then of course I'm thinking once he started along these lines, surely he'd stick to protocol.   That means he must of closed not with surgical thread, but with a roll of silver duct tape.  And once the patient was in recovery, he surely explained he'd have a 90 day warranty on labor, unless he cared to purchase the extended protection plan for $49.99 that would give him 24 months of solid protection and quarterly maintenance checks. 

 

On to other odd things.  Bubba failed to ride the bus home with his sister the other day.  Even thoughhe knew I'd be late.  And I don't like her home alone.  But he had a good reason.  He and a buddy went to Wally World after school and bought a couple of cell phones on a family plan.  Real nice looking little phone.  Didn't know 17 year olds could sign contracts.  Don't have to pay anything until March.  Of course they are both unemployed.  Makes perfect sense.  ?!?!?@#!#!$!%!^!>!<!

 

So, both I and Daddy oohed and awed over his phone and told him how he'd just screwed up his life.  Or probably at least his credit.  Of course he was quick to point out how easily he can make $50 or more in a day.  And we quickly pointed out how completely he procrastinates at every turn. 

 

Later that evening hubby was on the couch and I was sitting nearby.  Hubby says, "What's that strange light I see floating around in the back yard?"  I get up and walk over to the window.  It's bright blue.  "Oh, that's Bubba walking around out there with his cell phone open."  So Pete asks what he's doing out there in the cold instead of being in his room.  "Well, it won't pick up in his room.  Can't get a signal anywhere in the house.  And only a spot or two in the yard."  Pete just shakes his head, with that look like "can he really be mine?"

 

Soon the phone rings in the house.  Some girl asking for Bubba.  "He's outside on his cell phone.  And don't call this house after 9:00 PM."  Bubba comes in soon.  I told him about the call.  He said, "Yeah, I was talking to her and stepped in a dead spot and lost my connection.  I tried to call her right back but her phone was busy."  Yeah, she was talking to me!  

 

Any way.  His phone can take pictures.  Soon as we figure out if he can email them to mama without it costing us money, I'll share some with you.  He got a cute picture of Bug's little miniature goat, RosaBell.   He showed it to some friends at school. They were cracking up.  Seems everyone thinks it is odd that her goat stays on a leash in the yard. 

 

And then last night Bug wanted to color on the PC.  Went to web sight with a tiny little pad and a palette of colors.  She whined it was too small.  So I put her in Microsoft Paint.  Never use it.  Don't understand it.  Click, click.  "oh, yeah!"  Click, click.  "It's just like at school in computer lab, only not as easy to use."  Click, click.  Here's the result:     

 

 

Okay, beam me up Scottie! 

Tags: surgery, cell phones, mspaint

At It Again!

  I can't believe it has been twenty days since I posted!!  Been working more.  Had a sick husband.  Have a teenage son who ties up the phone for hours.  So my PC time has been rather limited.  But today is slow and easy.  And today I have been reading and thinking again.  We all know what a dangerous combination that is! 

This is another joke from ArcaMax.  Hope it blesses you as it blessed me.

Useless in the Parking Lot

A woman was at work when she received a phone call that her daughter was very sick with a fever. She left her work and stopped by the pharmacy to get some medication for her daughter.

When returning to her car she found that she had locked her keys in the car. She was in a hurry to get home to her sick daughter.

She didn't know what to do, so she called her home and told the baby sitter what had happened and that she did not know what to do. The baby sitter told her that her daughter was getting worse.

She said, "You might find a coat hanger and use that to open the door."

The woman looked around and found an old rusty coat hanger that had been thrown down on the ground, possibly by someone else who at some time or other had locked their keys in their car.

Then she looked at the hanger and said, "I don't know how to use this."

So she bowed her head and asked God to send her some help. Within five minutes an old rusty car pulled up, with a dirty, greasy, bearded man who was wearing an old biker skull rag on his head.

The woman thought, "This is what you sent to help me?" But, she was desperate, so she was also very thankful.

The man got out of his car and asked her if he could help. She said, "Yes, my daughter is very sick. I stopped to get her some medication and I locked my keys in my car. I must get home to her. Please, can you use this hanger to unlock my car?"

He said, "Sure". He walked over to the car, and in less than one minute the car was opened.

She hugged the man and through her tears she said, "Thank you so much! You are a very nice man."

The man replied, "Lady, I am not a nice man. I just got out of prison today. I was in prison for car theft and have only been out for about an hour."

The woman hugged the man again and with sobbing tears cried out loud, "Oh, Thank you God! You even sent me a Professional!"

 

Oh, sure, it's a joke.  But it's another prime example of how God really works.  This woman may have pictured in her mind as she prayed God sending a police car or a wrecker/lock service.  We all tend to pray with expectations of how God will/may answer.  And if we aren't careful, we'll limit the vastness of His response with our own prayers!  Or we will be so focused on looking for the answer we expect that we will won't see His response when it comes.

 

This woman is to be commended on both counts.  First, she prayed for help.  She didn't specify, qualify or limit the help in her prayer.  And secondly, when the help came, though surprised, she accepted it and recognized it for what it was.

 

As to the man....sounds as if he had no idea he was being used of God.  And many times we don't realize we are being used of God.  God is Lord over all.  The wicked.  The pure.  The lost.  The saved.  Some acknowledge Him and some don't....but that doesn't change the fact that He is Lord. 

 

The man didn't view himself as nice.  He didn't feel worthy.  Worthy of her praise.  Worthy to be used of God.  Are you like the man in some respect?  Do you doubt that God can use you?  Do you think you have done things that disqualify you from being used of God?  Think again! 

 

God knows where you have been and what you have done.  And like the man in the joke, even if you have done things that were wrong, sinful things, God can use you and your experience to help someone else.  No one knows better how to help someone out of a pit then one who has been in that pit.  Don't limit God's use of you!  God does work all things together for the good of those who love Him!

Tags: jokes, prayer

My Warped Mind Is At It Again!

I admit, I'm a little unusual to say the least.  I worship to the oldies and I find immense spiritual truth in jokes.  Here's my latest find from Arcamax. 

Acts 2:38    

A woman went into her kitchen to find a burglar loaded down with a bunch of stuff he was stealing from her kitchen. Not having any kind of weapon to scare him off, she raised her hand and said "Acts 2:38," and proceeded to quote scripture.

The burglar froze in place and didn't move. The woman called 911, the police arrived and were amazed to find the burglar still frozen where he stood.

"What did you say to him that kept him from moving?" they asked the woman.

She told them that she had simply said Acts 2:38 and quoted scripture.

The police chuckled and escorted the burglar out to the patrol car. "Why did the woman's quoting scripture scare you so much?" they asked.

"Scripture?" said the burglar, "I thought she said she had an ax and two 38's!"

We can giggle at the stupidity of the burglar.  We can say he should have his ears cleaned out.  But we can also say that our God is faithful to come through for those who step out on faith in Him and His Word!

The woman's first response was to hold her hand up in praise to God and quote scripture.  May not of made "sense" but left her trusting God for her help!  And He did not let her down.  He confused the poor burglar, as He did enemy armies in the Old Testament.  The burglar "heard" something that did scare him and froze him in his tracks.  We all know the well known story of how God used stomping feet, horns and shouts to bring down the walls of Jericho.  And He used sound and confusion also.  Read how He helped David conquer the Philistines.  1 Chronicles 14   See how God fought for Jehoshaphat.  2 Chronicles 20   And our God is the same Yesterday, Today and Tomorrow!!  So we can fully expect and rely on Him to "fight" our battles when we rest in Him and give Him the glory.

FYI:  Acts 2:38  "And Peter replied, "Each one of you must turn from sin, return to God, and be baptized in the name of Jesus Christ for the forgiveness of your sins; then you also shall recieve this gift, the Holy Spirit."  TLB

Tags: Stupid Crooks