I was shocked when I realized I hadn't made an I Saw it on Facebook post since the middle of July! That's just crazy. So, tonight, I'm going to rectify that. While most of my "saves" from Facebook are on the funny, lighthearted or sarcastic side, this one is more on the serious side and involves a truth that can free you if you learn to apply it.
As much as human nature leads us to try to change others, the plain truth is that the only person you can change is yourself. The converse side to this is that no one can control you, unless you allow it.
It takes a combination of introspection to determine what is important to you, what things matter in the long run, and how much weight and value you are going to give to each. And it takes evaluation of the scenarios that upset you, or yield an outcome that unsettles you.
Questions to consider include: What could make him always act that way toward me? How do I usually respond to it? How much does this matter to me? What other ways could I respond? You have to think it through. You have to come up with an idea of what you might try differently. If you don't, you'll just do what comes easily to you, which is what you always do and you'll have the same outcome.
The next time you are placed in that situation or those words are spoken to you, try your new response. Afterward, things to consider are, how did your response change their next behavior or words? Was this outcome more agreeable to you? If not, what could you do differently the next time? Can you do anything to change how it makes you feel even if the outcome doesn't change much?
There are people in our lives we can't avoid, that upset us or hurt us. All we can do is try to divest them of some of the power to do so. Then there are others in our lives that we can choose to avoid or expunge from our lives. Who's important enough to you to do the work? Remember, also, that forgiveness frees you from the burden of the pain and anger. Forgiveness does more for the one forgiving than it does the one forgiven.
Whether a dear friend, a family member, a boss, a clerk or a stranger; remember and be aware that most of the time however much they hurt, disappoint, annoy or make you angry the larger part is the response you choose, the lesser is what they did, said or didn't do.
No matter how high the pile of shit, it's your perspective that makes it a mountain or a molehill.
Disclaimer: While I can practice this far better than I could in my younger years, I am still on the journey.